TechieWife

So this year's annual backyard camp out is a Luau theme. We will have a pot luck and the kids will have some crafts and games and fun in the sun (providing there is any sun) and then we will put on a little Luau for the parents with the kids. I have some songs that they will sing, I will teach the kids the hula and then they are making "poi fire balls" out of paper and glow in the dark paint to do a "fire dance". I found a song that I am teaching them too, thanks to Laurie Berkner (dont you just LOVE her?) actually titled Mahalo - here are the lyrics - they will be priceless with a little novice hula and then a fire dance before we make s'mores by the fire:

 

 

 

 

 - Lyrics by Laurie Berkner

 

Is that not too sweet? I actually have lucked out and have a neighbor who plays the guitar and has kids coming to the event so I have accompaniment too! This will be awesome! YAY!!! Gearing up - you know me, gotta have it planned.....

This is my 3 year old's FAVORITE phrase lately. I have gone from hero to zero in some ways. Overnight it seems I have become a raving idiot. "Mom, I said I dont like mustard, remember? PATRICK likes mustard, I like mayonaise...sheesh" an exasperated litle girl plops down and sulks. Well....oops. Patrick on the other hand is fond of the shoulder shrug and grunt of "I dont know" when you ask him anything. "Patrick, do you like this?"  you get the shrug....teenagers already? Uh uh...not having it.

 

Then they do something and it turns the WHOLE day around. I was up in the office getting the pillows off the floor from a fort that they made and RIley exclaims, "Mommy, I just love you SO much" and runs and give e a hug. A real hug. I wish there was a speial place to store that so that when she shouts that I am a moron for forgetting the mustard/mayo rule I could take it out, polish it off and remember that moment....wait I guess that is what the blog is for.

 

Today we are stuck inside doing laundry so I can go to the Orcas Islands this weekend for a kayaking trip with my pals. I need the break, though I wish it was happening with my hubby, not that I wont have a blast with the girlies, it is just Harry and I could use an escape too - him especially - he has been working VERY hard. Soon he will be in Australia and New Zealand without us and that is no fun for him....I would make the most of it but he reverts to his inner geek and works till he is exhausted and then hops on line for more computer stuff. Sight seeing? Nah. Not for him.

 

I am hoping I get enough laundry done that I can escape with the kids to a pool for a spell but I also have lessons this afternoon that I must prepare for (a mommy and me at my house in my pool - I think the water might be too hot though since it will be a scorcher - you can NEVER tell with the weather here - I swear it is bipolar and forgets its meds as it suits the Gods)....

 

On a happier note I weighed in at 225 today. WHOO HOO! 42 pounds down and counting!!!

So, for a while I have been bemoaning the past. Who I was, I guess, has come up a lot because I am starting to morph again. I am loosing weight, I am working on things, I had family here and had to deal with issues I had put aside a while ago, etc. ANYWAY, you put all that together with a 20 year reunion, and well, I started wondering where did all the time go? SO I have been talking about it, and if you ask my husband, I guess I have been doing so at nauseum. It is after midnight and we have had a big row.

 

Here is the thing, it is NOT that I liked my life before him more - in fact it is the opposite in many instances - the time with him is going by so fast it is like I am blinking and things are slipping by. I told him tonight that I wish I could savor the time, take more time, and really be present, but all he seemed to hear was that I was more happy before I met him - completely not true. I was at a loss. URGH why cant someone be nostalgic without causing the other person to feel threatened? I dont know. I do know that my life is better, happier and more incredible with Harry than it ever was before him, but I cant communicate that right now, no matter how hard I try.

 

The things is, I like being a Mom. I know that is very unhip - but I do. I just sometimes miss being myself. Having my own identity that does not involve being a cruise director, seemstress, cook, maid, problem solver, teacher, servant, entertainer and school nurse every minute of every day. My Mom recently said my kids are walking all over me, my kids are talking back more and more and my husband seems angry a lot - yeah I am on a ROLL y'all.

 

OK I am venting a bit, obviously, but I seem to have lost the ability to accurately communicate with anyone without upsetting them so the problem must be me. I am not afraid to say so, I just dont exactly know what to do. I obviously needed some time to think about my past and I am sorry that it hurt my husband, there was no one I wanted to see or contact except maybe myself - but there is no talking about it. I guess I must learn to just keep it to my own damn self - guess I just blew that publishing it here too...uh oh.

 

I cant be the only Mom to feel this way. But where do we go? Back to our crafts, cartoons, parks and playdates and put a smile on that face because damn it this was our choice and we would make it a million times over again and again - even if sometimes it is hard and no one we talk to gets us remotely well.  

No I am not talking about McCain, I am actually talking about ME. I. Myself. I am ancient. I had a lovely dinner this evening with a very nice couple and their children who are the same ages (a little younger) than my cherubs, but the parents were younger. In discussing just HOW much younger, while telling them that THIS EVENING was my 20 year High School Reunion (NHHS Huskies y'all - Go Big Blue) I figured out that when I was hard core competing in swimming - you know by the 1984 Olympics in LA where I lived EVERYONE was swimming USS swimming and it was such a rush, the girl I was hosting was 3 years old. Lord Help Me.

 

Remember when you used to HATE being called "the Kid"? Or That Young Guy? Or the Newbie? Well, obviously those days are over for my husband and I. It was at that moment that I realized I was the old lady on the block. I was almost old enough to be this woman's Mom. Our kids are the same age - so I am almost old enough for....gulp...GRANDCHILDREN and my babies are still babies. See what happens when you have a carreer first and wait to have kids? It is a wierd bubble I live in in Seattle. Most of us are old broads with kids on the playground, but in the rest of the country I have to remind myself I am assumed to be a granny.

 

Anyway the dinner was lovely - could you please pass me my walker? I thinkI need to have my colostomy bag checked.  

Ok - thingts are different from my hill billy youth. Back in the day, when we fell out of a tree, our parents wiped us up, told us to quit crying and said, "well, now you know better than to climb a tree in cut offs and flip flops - grow a brain". Well at least mine did. And you know what? In some cases I am better for it. Toughen Up Buttercup - I turned out ok (well except for the nervous ticks, but that is a topic for later discussion, ha ha ha). Today, our kids fall out of trees and instead of teaching them about natural consequences, some parents want to freak out and pass laws that prohibit limbs from being low enough to encourage or allow the activity to "Protect the kids" and as a result I beloieve we are raising a generation of painsy-assed, whining, sniveling, litigious whimps who cannot follow a thought through to a natural conclusion because they have never had to deal with a "real" consequence. It is a mistake. Then again, some of our laws do make some sense.....

 

Today I read this story about a grandmother who let her grandchild ride on the roof of her car in a store parking lot. Here is the story -

 

Grandma Arrested for Driving With 3-Year-Old on Roof for Fun

MARATHON, Fla — Authorities say a grandmother was arrested for driving around the parking lot of a Marathon grocery store with her 3-year-old child sitting on the roof of the car.

Monroe County Sheriff's Office deputies were called to the Publix store Tuesday and arrested a 54-year-old woman after she was driving around with her three-year-old granddaughter on the roof of her car.

The grandmother was released from jail 15 hours later.

The woman said Thursday she would never let anything hurt her granddaughter. She says she was driving at "snail-speed" and holding the child's leg.

Authorities say the woman told police she was giving the child some air and letting her have fun.

She faces charges of child abuse. The child is back with her mother

What a dip shit move. First, back in the day, I remember going to a track with my hill billy daddy. OK he was not a real hill billy, but it is a hill billy deal to go to Nascar...I know I know it is VERY popular NOW with EVERYONE, but back then in the '70's if you drank COORS or PBR and had cut offs and drove a Chevy Nova, this was the SHIT. Now at the track, they did let the kids sit on the roof and go around the track at a snail pace. BUT it was controlled and more than one adult was in charge, and well - remember the natural consequences thing? Perhaps we were doing our own version of Darwin's Weening out the species I dont know.

This Grandmother perplexes me. On what planet does this seem like a good idea? Let me know if you follow her logic - I have a 3 year old, I want to give her some air - so I A.) take her for a walk to a park to play, or B.) Get some Ice Cream and watch some sprinklers and perhaps play in them or C.) hold on to her tiny still developing boney leg while I use my several ton vehical to do spin outs in a parking lot where other cars I have no control over are moving? Seriously, maybe it is not just THIS generation that missed the boat on natural consequences, maybe we are looking at a multi-generational cluster of dumb asses. Seriously. Who does this? What would you do if you saw this scene playing out at your local piggly wiggly?

Anyway, it is HIGH TIME we started looking at our actions and the actions of our young and following them to a natural conclusion that is all I am saying. The world would be SO much better if we all used some more foresight. I am teaching this to my kids anyway, and they do look at me like I am a crazy person - Patrick actually said to me yesterday when I asked him to think about how his actions were encouraging other kids to do something dangerous and just because he is bigger and older does not make climbing on a fence safe, "But Mommy, the other parents dont yell at their kids for it, why do you care so much?" Oh Lord - I had to respond, "I care because it is my job, because I love you and because dang it I worked too hard to make you and now I am old and cant make more so I have to be careful and so do you." He did not get the humor, but a woman a few feet away almost spit out her latte from laughing so hard. Glad to see someone gets my humor.