I meant to add this before - today I took my Riley to a park after school to meet some of her friends for a picnic. It was bittersweet because we went there a lot with Patrick to meet his friends for picnics - you know before I lost him to all day school. I miss him SO very much sometimes. It just hits me hardest when I am at a place I loved to share with him before he went off to the world.

 

Anyway, while we were there, Riley REALLY wanted to go down the slide. All her friends were climbing up the metal slide, but she knows I only let her go down slides - she has to get to the stairs or ladder to the slide - I have seen too many kids hurt themselves VERY badly going up the slide. She was so good, she di dnot even test it. BUT she was scared half way up the stairs - so I helped her up. We got to the top and she went down the slide SO happy and proud. She stood at the bottom and asked me to come down. I looked at the slide and every now and again I forget I lost weight. I remember my ass from 57 pounds ago. She begged me from the playground floor, "Go Mommy! Go! I will catch you I promise!" and she stood there at the bottom of the slide with her arms out as if to catch me.

 

I was going down the slide, I knew it. So I took a deep breath and down I went - NO PROBLEM! I FIT! And there she was at the bottom, smiling from ear to ear, "Yay Mommy! I am so proud of you! You did it!"

 

Stephen Colbert gets to be a comic book hero!!

The Conservative parodist will appear in issue No. 573 of The Amazing Spider-Man. In a preview of the comic book, Colbert is seen swinging from rooftop to rooftop alongside the super hero.

My husband and I watch Colbert and Jon Stewart every night - granted I usually fall asleep half way through (I am a light weight) but it is our last activity of the day and it is among my favorites. I know I love the classics, but this part of pop culture is just plain fun, odnt you think?

I was hanging with my baby girl thos morning - having tea, making pumpkin bread - you know bein' a Mom. I accidentally let a video finish before I could change the channel and the news came on - it was talking about how they were about to cut the power to Wall Street if the DOW fell any further to stop trading because we were in such a crisis. I almost dropped me tea. I remember Black Monday (vaguely but I was a teenager) and somewhere in my DNA I must remember the Depression - I can certainly imagine it from all the reading I have done - and I am stressed out!

 

I looked up a few speeches from the floor from the Bail Out crapola that of course republicans say the democrats wanted and the democrats say it was the republicans that wanted it and BOTH sides are distancing themselves as far as they can from BUSH and his lackies that I fear anything attempted by this administration will fall flat (even if it is a good idea - which the bail out decidedly seems to not have been).

 

Here is the link to her speech - watch it - it is very good.

 

 

 

Farewell to one of my favorite actors of all time. I first saw him in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid - but that is only because I was not born till 1969. My Mom was very sad today as another iconic actor from the golden age of actors is gone. I just could not say something.

I got this story in my in box today courtesy of my good dear friend Laura Van Horn- having just spent a day at the track field yesterday with Patrick in the rain with Riley in a stroller - I am a little more aware of how important it is for the kids to feel a sense of belonging. I know I had tears in my eyes when I read this, so Patrick asked me what was wrong. I told him it was a story about a boy and baseball so he wanted to hear it. I read it out loud and asked questions to him as I did, and he chose the same things the boys in the story did - which makes me fill with pride knowing that he would choose that way. Incidentally,  Yesterday as we were at the track, he was racing some friends in his class for a prize of lego's. His sister REALLY wanted to run but she could not do it alone. He let the boys in his class beat him because he chose to take his sister around the track instead of finish the race as fast as he could have otherwise (I had not asked him to do this BTW). He ran holding her hand and showed her the way and helped her up when she fell. I was proud then as I am now that he understood the story.
 
Have some tissues ready - here you go....- Julianne
 
> Two  ChoicesWhat would you do?....you make the choice.
> Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read
> it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same
> choice?
>
> At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children
> with learning disabilities, the father of one of the
> students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by
> all who attended. After extolling the school and its
> dedicated staff, he offered a question:'When not
> interfered with by outside influences, everything nature
> does, is done with perfection.Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn
> things as other children do.  He cannot understand things as
> other children do.Where is the natural order of things in my
> son?'The audience was stilled by the query.The father
> continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who
> was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world,
> an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself,
> and it comes in the way other people treat that
> child.'Then he told the following story:Shay and I had
> walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing
> baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me
> play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want
> someone like Shay on their team, but as a father Ialso
> understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would
> give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some
> confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his
> handicaps.I approached one of the boys on the field and
> asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy
> looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing
> by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he
> can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in
> the ninth inning.'Shay struggled over to the team's
> bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I
> watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.
> The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.In the bottom
> of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few  runs but
> was still behind by three.In the top of the ninth inning,
> Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even
> though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just
> to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear
> as I waved to him from the stands.In the bottom of the ninth
> inning, Shay's team scored again.Now, with two outs and
> the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and
> Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.At this juncture, do
> they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the
> game?Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew
> that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't
> even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect
> with the ball.However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the
> pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning
> aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few
> steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make
> contact.The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and
> missed.The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss
> the ball softly towards Shay.As the pitch came in, Shay
> swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to
> the pitcher.The game would now be over.The pitcher picked up
> the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to
> the first baseman.Shay would have been out and that would
> have been the end of the game.Instead, the pitcher threw the
> ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach
> of all team mates.Everyone from the stands and both teams
> started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to
> first!'Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but
> he made it to first base.He scampered down the baseline,
> wide-eyed and startled.Everyone yelled, 'Run to second,
> run to second!'Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran
> towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the
> base.By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right
> fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who
> now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.He
> could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the
> tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he,
> too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the
> third-baseman's head.Shay ran toward third base
> deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases
> toward home.All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all
> the Way Shay'Shay reached third base because the
> opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the
> direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
> Shay, run to third!'As Shay rounded third, the boys from
> both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet
> screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'Shay ran to
> home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who
> hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.'That
> day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down
> his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece
> of true love and humanity into this world'.Shay
> didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter,
> having never forgotten being the hero and making me so
> happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully
> embrace her little hero of the day!

I just read this: http://clinton.senate.gov/news/statements/details.cfm?id=303578

 

Check it out. It is an interesting proposal - IMHO.

 

I understand that Obama plans to go to Mississippi for the debates anyway. They will stand to loose several millions of dollars if the debates are cancelled - not exactly a way to look out for economic crisis of states if you do that to people. I understand that McCain wants to be in the thick of it, but you know, with over 100 Senators on the gig, I think he can break away without too much of a ruffle AND they might be able to address a thing or two and calm a shaky amount of people.

 

My husband thinks that one of the reasons the recent plan fell was to set McCain up to "come to the rescue". Conspiracy theories abound I suppose. But you know, I just think that we need real solutions for the AMerican People - not necessarily a crazy bail out of the criminals who got us here - course that is coming from someone who makes their mortgage - dont let that scare you off - I KNOW how lucky I am.

I was at the dentist yesterday in a GREAT deal of pain because I burn through pain killers too fast and they could not give me more because - you guessed it the pain made my blood pressure sky rocket, so I had to bear down and get through it....any way I asked to watch the news because I never get to see it at home. Bidden was on and he was talking about Iran and the darling 12 year old assistant said, "Is that where the war is now? I dont pay attention to these things.' I said, no, currently we are still at war in Iraq and Afganistan but McCain would like to see us spread our efforts to Iran to evade diplomacy. She looked at me like a deer in headlights. "WHo is that talking then?" That is Joe Bidden he is running for VP, I say. "I thought McCain picked that cute lady in the red dresses!" Well, he did, Senator Bidden is running with Obama, I say. TRYING SO HARD not to sound condescending which I am quite sure I failed at. "Oh, I just pay attention to these things, when it comes time to vote, I go with my gut" 
 
I guess her gut says she likes ladies in Red Dresses instead of reason.

This week has been INSANE. Nothing every mother does not also experience with new schools, new team sports, multiple kids, husbands, etc., but when I am overwhelmed I EAT. I know I need new coping techniques but I dont have them yet.

Yesterday I went to the dentist expecting two fillings and ended up with two crowns. We set asside the money for the fillings which would have been $400 so I set aside $500 but the crowns ended up being $995 as my co pay - telling that to my husband while he is really feeling the brunt of me not working right now during all this made him loose it and he got so worried he had a panic attack. Once I calmed him down, I too had one but I dared not show it to him because that would make things worse. To make things worse the novacain wore off half way through as it often does because I am hyper resistant and he thought he could be gentle enough, so I felt everything from the time he madethe hole on (he did not want to do a palate block because my BP was high - well hello I was in PAIN and SCARED) the bill at the end was just icing on the cake.

SO I am stressed out of my gord. I lost track of my calories, the scale is moving upwards and I am pretty upset. I know, this is how I learn to deal - but a break would be VERY appreciated. SO instead of whinning I took steps -

1. I have an appointment to go get a fill and talk to my RN next week - alas I must bring my kid again, but hey that is better than not coming in at all.

2. I am still walking every day and have reached out to friends who support me to walk with me to help me be accountable.

3. I bought myself a lunch box and when I make the kids lunches I will make my own. I will eat what I pack and nothing else.

4. I have planned every meal for the rest of the week and will not deviate. (We do have a pizza night planned for tomorrow and I have set aside left overs that are band friendly so I will not be too tempted and wrote on the fridge Jessie's phrase "PRACTICE USING YOUR RESTRAINT MUSCLE!!!)

5. I found a picture of myself taken last week (5 pounds lighter!) and put it on my mirror to show me I CAN and HAVE made better decisions

6. I started writing in my journal again.

There you for letting me vent -

 

This is where I was coming from below, because I feel like after reading it later I was wishy washy -

 

There is no reason that they cannot do both - their jobs as Senators and helping with Congress and the current administration find a resolve to help our crisis AND having the debate (either by getting in their planes and honoring their commitment to Mississippi OR having it from DC). I am QUITE sure if they were President they would have to multi task, right? I am also quite sure that if they could not leave DC if they met at the Mall or a monument or heck the train station, the media would gladly cover their debate - How's the Senate floor? I hear they have access there.....

I read this today on Perezhilton.com - I know not the most solid news source, but not the worst - see my comments below:

 

The situation on Wall Street is beginning to look so bleak that John McCain has called for a temporary suspension of his campaign in order to return to Washington and address the President and Congress.

He's also requested postponing the presidential debate scheduled for Friday.

Scared????

With this being one of the most explosive and expensive presidential races to date, McCain's decision could jeopardize his standing as debates are an important platform for candidates to express their policies and appeal to the public.

McCain explains himself thusly:

"America this week faces an historic crisis in our financial system. We must pass legislation to address this crisis. If we do not, credit will dry up, with devastating consequences for our economy. People will no longer be able to buy homes and their life savings will be at stake. Businesses will not have enough money to pay their employees. If we do not act, every corner of our country will be impacted. We cannot allow this to happen….

"It has become clear that no consensus has developed to support the Administration's proposal. I do not believe that the plan on the table will pass as it currently stands, and we are running out of time.

"Tomorrow morning, I will suspend my campaign and return to Washington after speaking at the Clinton Global Initiative. I have spoken to Senator Obama and informed him of my decision and have asked him to join me….

"We must meet as Americans, not as Democrats or Republicans, and we must meet until this crisis is resolved. I am directing my campaign to work with the Obama campaign and the commission on presidential debates to delay Friday night's debate until we have taken action to

 

While I wish that the debate would go as scheduled - I completely agree with setting it aside or postponing it or even having it in Washington (why cant they just do that) WHILE they address this crisis.

 

Again I am thinking Clinton's idea of reducing everyone's mortgage by half sounds better than the fall out from bailing the gazzilionare loosers who made the problem out of debt. If mortgages were cut in half, the bounce in economy might just save us all -

Did you see the Bill Clinton interview on The View? DId you see what I saw? I really think I heard an idea that would help homeowners not just write a crazy gazzillion dollar check to the idiots that got us all here in the first place. What I think he and Whoopi suggested was to cut everyone's mortgages in half, thereby making it affordable to pay your mortgage. Apparently, according to Bill, the average person just cant make a mortgage payment or two and if we could drop everyones mortgage then we could help stimulate and turn the economy around and may even stand to make money. What a concept, Huh?

 

Then today while I was fantasizing about this idea I thought of course there would be a down side - if the mortgages were forgiven half , then property value would have to in turn drop, right? Well, while I would be OK with that (extatic actually) I worry about people who are fine financially agreeing to this deal - how is it in their best ibnterest? I am not nieve enough to think that altruism and the idea that if we did this and it did stimulate the economy eventually it WOULD be beneficial to them....also what would happen to the people who have already paid their houses off - how does this benefit them?

 

It sounded like a great idea and would not require us to print more money and thereby hurt our dollar world wide, and it would not give even more money to the 'Tards who made the mess.....I hope to see more about it, I think it is a great idea still...I just worry about the backlash and how it is beneficial for everyone....

I got this from a friend today and had to share it - it is hilarious....I dont know who the author is though...

 

The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down    

  Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always h ear 'the rules '
From the female side.  

 

  Now here are the rules from the male side.    

These are our rules!
Please note… these are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE!  

 

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how yo u want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say WHATEVER you have to say during commercials…

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football, baseball, Hockey or golf.

1. You have enough clo thes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - 

to give them a bigger laugh

OK ok ok - I am about to spin off the flippin' planet here.....Let me explain briefly as I run to Church with my little ones and say some SERIOUS THANK YOU prayers....

 

I started my gastric Surgery journey at 267 pounds in April. I was desperate - I had high blood pressure, I had pre- diabetes, I was inactive and worse than all that I was depressed with a capital D. Medications several times a day were inconvenient at best and downright depressing most times. WHo wants to go on vacation with 7 bottles of medicine?!?!?!? Well I di dnot either.

 

In the few short months since I started, I went to a seminar, I saw a psychologist and a nutritionist, and several Dr's who supported the surgery, had the Gastric Lap Banding done on June 23rd and since then have dropped many pounds and paid VERY CLOSE attention to what goes in my mouth and what I put my body through. Now I am down weight, off all meds, ALL MEDS!!!! No high blood pressure, no trace of diabeties and my cholesterol has turned around. I never would have believed that 4 months would make such a difference. But I have documented all this before.

 

My PCOS is seriously under control as well. My periods are regular, my mood swings are in check (for the most part) and my extra physical syptoms are at bay (extra hair, acne, heavy sweats, etc. a lovely picture I know.

 

Today I weighed in. I was just slightly shy of 210. I started at 267, had surgery at 255, and now am at 210! HOLY SHIT! I never ever would have believed that just modifying my diet and adding some light exercise would do all this. The band helps me be conscious, but it is more than that. I was desperate and it was my lifeline! I am so thank ful SO thankful. In a few short pounds I get to get away with my husband for an evening in any hotel I want - that was my goal setter - a night with my honey bunny. I did not think I would be able to do it before Christmas - hell at this rate I might get it before Halloween!!!!

 

So, thanks to becoming a BORG (I am 4 of 7 if I count my siblings, in my immediate family I suppose I would be known as 1 of 4 - there you go Trekies dig that!)

 

 

I just got a new recipe from the RN who I see regularly to help me tweak my band...The Taco Soup sounds amazing!! I am SO making that this week! Holy moly! FYI last night I made baked eggplant parmesan and a salad - I also made garlic bread but I practiced my "resistance muscle" and stayed away from it except for a small taste to make sure I got the spices right - it was more fun watching others enjoy it anyway. It made the house smell so intoxicating, I did not need to eat it to enjoy it. The woman who ate with us have never had weight issues, so it was OK that I made it for her. As a former "real comfort food" cook, it is nice to see I still got it!

Yesterday I strayed off the reservation and ate some stuff I am not supposed to. I beat myself up about it all day - Good Catholic upbringing, huh? Anyway, I woke up today and said, "I WILL love the skin I am in! New day!" I took my favorite shower with smelly girlie stuff and my little daughter with me - we sometimes call Saturday mornings our "Spa day" and have strawberry dreams baths, strawberry soap, shampoo and conditioner for her and my herbal essence stuff for me. I felt so good, I threw on a sweater dress for my day (just as busy as yesterday - I MUST learn to slow down!) and decided to vamp it up which I generally do not do - I am wearing real stockings and boots with my little gray sweater dress that NEVER would have fit 47 pounds ago but looks just right now. I actually got it in the Jr section, which I have not been able to shop in for about 5 years now - but as a short person, when I CAN wear their sizes the fit better because they are made for children (short people). I walked downstairs and my poor husband lost his breath! That felt SO much better than ANYTHING I ate yesterday. I will remember that for a very long time I hope. Poor guy has to hang with me all day and will be teased to the point of chaning his colour! Ha ha ha....its good for his heart! (and my ego)

 SO, cute, me is practicing restraint and expressing loving gentle thoughts today. (I sound like a love song station - loving thoughts on... "The Coast!") Well, may these happy thoughts remain as I go to two kiddie parties today. I am being smart and eating my cottage cheese BEFORE I go so that the pizza and Mac 'n Cheese and cake barf fest is not going to test me... I usually offer to paint faces so that I am busy and AWAY from the food table, but today I was not asked to do so....so I must be vigilant!

Here is the Taco Soup recipe:

Taco Soup
1 large onion, diced
1 (14 1/2 ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 (14 1/2 ounce) can diced tomatoes & green chilies
1 (11 ounce) canned corn with red and green peppers
1 (15 1/2 ounce) can low-fat or fat-free canned refried black beans
2 cans water (3 1/2 cups)
1 package taco seasoning mix
1 package ranch salad dressing mix (dry)

Sauté onion with vegetable oil cooking spray. When softened, combine all
other ingredients and cook until heated through.

Makes 9-10 cups. Serving size is 1 cup. 2 WW points per serving.

First off, WW points are about 50 calories each (but that varies a lot).

1 large onion = 63 calories (I'm using Calorie King)
1 can diced tomatoes = 82 calories
1 can diced tomatoes & green chilies = 98 calories
11 oz canned corn with peppers = 234 calories
15 oz refried black beans = 393 calories (fat free = 344)
Taco seasoning mix = 120 calories
Ranch dip mix = 80 calories
Total = 1070. I have no idea how many servings this makes (it came to me in
a crock pot) but I'd guess it's about 10 cups, about 107 calories per cup.

I read this today and it makes me so sad. I know the standing of my Church and have to admit I am at odds and struggle with it. I will be talking about this with my priest during confession this week.

 

Just because I am on a roll and cannot get enough -

 

 

You are welcome! Enjoy!

Have you heard this yet??

 

 

In a word - AWESOME. One of the artists who wrote it ( no not Bono - the other guy) Dave Stewart of the 80's band The Eurythmics also has a new album out that sounds AMAZING! It is a collection of all the stuff he has written, and he has written for EVERYONE - seriously. He ROCKS! He is on concert in LA and NYC and I am praying that he will make it to Seattle. He is playing The Roxy in LA and flying down is not feasible, but if I could I would....though the chances of getting in are pretty damn slim even if I make it there.

 

Anyway, happy listening and if anyone is wondering a great Birthday or Christmas present, his new collection with the coffee table book and CD is on my top 10 - What an amazing career....Inspiring. And almost as touching? He uses REAL musicians - listen to the skill of his tracks, seriously, I have not been this fired up in a LONG time.

So - I am no longer allowed some of my favorites. I admit, I am, it seems, still adicted to them and thinking about them often. Like drugs. NOW I know WHY - to me they ARE drugs. I dont do drugs (though I admit to have some experiences in College - who doesn't?) but I was fortunate enought to be smart enough not to do anything crazy stupid or addictive....which is good becqause I have an adictive personality. My parents are both dealing with addictions in one way or another and every grandparent/Aunt/Uncle etc has had SOMETHING they needed to kick. We are all working on so much. But when I had the surgery I just figured I could not have bread/rice/potatoes/pasta etc because they could get stuck. I have never been "stuck" so I flirt with these foods because I love them and miss them and have given up so much. I dont go crazy but I admit that they have never been completely cut off. They will now.

 

A RNP that I know who wrote and AWESOME book about Gastric banding surgery - actually her book was the reason # 1 I had the surgery myself - so to say I value her opinion and her ideas is a bit of an understatement. Anyway, here is what she says about these foods and why I should not have them - REMINDER I am absolutely Insullin Resistant. It is a part of my PCOS and just a part of life - so this is especially poinant to me -

 

I looked at You Tube today - The kids were playing and I got sucked into the vortex of political ads - this new ad (I think it is new, I had not seen it anyway) regarding OBAMA and BIDDEN as Experience and Change caught my eye - thought? I thought it was inspiring in a way that makes you wish to do somthing but vcague enough not to say what they are actually doing - it is pretty but it does not actually SAY anything - what do you think?