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August 31 Circling WagonsPatrick threw up quite a bit last night. Figures - poor Harry is working and feels horrible he cannot help so I am on my own and cancelling activities - but watching him shiver on the couch between Motrin and juice or water just breaks my heart. Riley is impatient to say the least. She cant run outside really and play on her own in the rain and I dont trust her out there alone so I am trying to incorporate a TV day and she is BORED already - at 7:27 am! Uh oh! Because she could be a carrier of whatever he has I cant just send her to a friend's house either....wish me luck! Somehow I have to go to the store too - now I have a new empathy for mommies I see at the store with sick babies - sometimes you have no choice... August 30 Not Bigger TodayMy little guy is taking the fact that his Daddy is working this weekend hard! Even with my Mom around and all of us here, he cried a lot over it. Part is I am sure the BIG changes headed his way but also now I think he might be getting sick. Poor guy - school starts THIS WEEK! Not the time to get sick....
But as I lay with him and stroked his hair and now am sitting blogginh while I hear him breath and wimper in his sleep (he has chills and achs and pains - BETTER NOT be the tummy flu that is all I can say!!!) he seem so small! I put my hand over his hand, and my BIG boy who seemed so big just the other day, walking to get the mail on his own and getting himself ready for school, seemed as small as a toddler in my arms today. It is amazing to me when you have these glimpses of who they were when you see it it reaks your heart! Of course that is not what you want - be big if that means healthy! But not TOO big! Ah parenting - such a fine line - I wan to empower him to be sturdy, sure of himself, ready to go alone, but at the same time I struggle with my own selfishness of wanting to protect him, love him and shelter him - we all go through that, huh?
I myself am a tad ashamed today as well. For all my ranting about not fitting in, today I was reminded I am a part of a greater group. My playgroup was together for a B-Day party and the Dads were there and happily tried to help Patrick feel better - and the Moms me - I get wrapped up in things and forget sometimes that I really do have a tremendous support team here - fantastic friends. I am fortunate and must remind myself of that instead of focusing on the 1% who do not get me (and likely never will) they are not the important ones. Thanks, pals, forhelping me with my little man and lady today! YOU ROCK! August 29 ChangeI LOVED Obama's speech last night. DId you check how many people saw it? It was a record! Anyway the "Money spot" if you will, the phrase that pays - every key speech has to have one and his did - well his had many - but my favorite was:
CHANGE DOES NOT COME FROM WASHINGTON - CHANGE MUST COME TO WASHINGTON!
Well well well well. Loved it. I cried several times and all along I have not been a huge Obama supporter. I WANT to believe in him and his methods, I do, but something always held me back. Last night I just let go and hoped. It was lovely.
This morning I saw McCain's pick. I think it is an obvious ploy for us 35-50 year old women still bitter about how Hillary was dealt a rotten hand - but what happened to Obama has no experience? Hello, this woman is only 45 years old, how many rounds around the block could she have made? How seasoned could she be? I know she is from Alaska - is it an oil thing too? Did you hear that she is behind taking Polar Bears off the Endangered Species list? What the? Where did she come from?
That said - it wont matter. Obama's speech was eloquent. It spoke t the heart and addressed so much - education (we need more, and we need help paying for it); Health Insurance (we need better - more - and access to it) and the fact that our country IS better than we have been.
Say it with me, EIGHT IS ENOUGH. August 28 Be Kinder Than Necessary
A friend sent me that today and LORD I needed it. Today I took my son to his school for his first Kindergarten Classroom day. It was not the first day of school, just a day to bring in his supplies (I got the wrong kind of pencils, gotta go back and get more) and see what clubs, etc the school had. I found myself being VERY judgemental. It must be very hard to have a teacher as a parent in your classroom - we are always second guessing, "Why do it that way? I would do it this way..." or something. Kinda like trying to be a doctor's doctor. The problems is NOT his teacher, who seems seasoned and lovely and was just wonderful with the kids, the problem is me. I found myself truly missing Sacred Heart and was not prepared for my heart to break....again. I knew what to expect there, I knew people there, I would have felt less like a fish out of water - today I knew no one, walked around trying to gain information and it was EVERYWHERE completely overwhelming though hardly anything applied to him because Kindergarten was too early for most clubs, and while everyone around me seemed to be greeting friends and having hugs and acting like it was a reunion (which in many ways it was) I was left feeling like an outsider, like I was catching up and desperately trying to break into a new system (which I was) and like yet again I was starting over and you know what? I am kinda tired of feeling like I do not belong here. I am cold, tired and just plain exhausted from tring to be the best version of me, like it or not, I DO NOT fit in here.
That said, today was not about me. It was about Patrick. He did spectacularly. I watched him carefully and while I suggested he say hello to the other kids in his class, he held back and was cautious - which was what everyone else was doing - but he had an air of confidence about him I was envious of. Nothing phased him, he smiled and was friendly without feeling like he needed to make friends - I love that about him. When we went to the playground he jumped right into climbing on the climbing wall and slides. We found the music room and he askedif he would be allowed to learn how to play the guitar and I am looking into a class for him for the Cello and Spanish - there's a lot to do!
Anyway, I came home and the lovely poem posted above was in my mailbox from my darling friend Cathia and it was so appropriate I cried. How she always seems to know my heart is a mystery, but she does. Everything will be perfectly fine, but today? Well today I feel insecure and lonely, but I KNOW that soon I will not. I just am thrilled that my boy seems so natural in new settings - he just ploped into his seat and started right at his stuff. Love that.
August 27 Diet UpdateI have read on my support group many of the people banded around the same time I was are loosing their hair. My hair has not thinned too much - though it is thinning - but the curly? Lord above, yes. I used to have to perm my hair to get the curls to tame better - I have that Irish wave, it is not quite curly, not quite straight but frizzy messy whenever it suits - so as a teen I discovered a spiral perm would last 3 years and do the trick - one perm = 3 years of tame curls. Not a bad investment of babysitting money! But then, after my kids, I FINALLY had a silky, wavy, easy to set THICK mane - now I am back to my Irish friz. DANG IT! To some it is beautiful, but it is a LOT of work that most days finds its way into a pony tail or hat (just like it did in 1988) so I went and got curly shampoo and gave in to the curl. I dont know how long it will last, but I foresee a total makeover soon anyway - so no use crying over it. On a completely separate thing - I had quite the NSV (non surgical victory) today - I went to my primary because I have lost enough to notice and have my BP checked and not only am I down by a lot, in the normal range and steady, BUT my blood work came back great! I do not know what the numbers mean but she was doing cartwheels. My cholesterol (good and bad) are fantastic, all my problems are gone in the blood work - everything looks great and I have, according to her scale, gone from 275 (my heaviest in her office) to 228 (today in her office on the fancy schmancy digital scale - I still like mine more that says I am only 220-223 but I KNOW it is not accurate just kind) since April '08. 47 pounds! I am now being taken OFF my BP meds, COMPLETELY! Bye bye bye - now all I will be taking is my migraine meds, I wonder if I even need them now that I am no longer taking Glucophage. I was taking Glucophage for pre diabetes associated with the PCOS (Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and my blood sugar levels - everything are normal today. I was taken off that mdication just prior to surgery, as you will recall, because the new diet doe snot allow me to eat the very things that stimulated my insullin, now if my insullin had been evevated today with the blood work or if my numbers were off, I would have known right away that I was doing something wrong - but nope it is nice to have some data confirming I am on the right track! SO the meds are gone, soon I hope the migraine stuff will be too - the migraines I believe were a by product of the Glucophage after all....We will see about that in the next Dr appointment when I check to see where my BP and other numbers are in a few months - that is coming in October! The trick is to stay focused and GO to follow ups - go see the Surgical centers for Fills and updates and see the Primary for follow ups on BP and blood work - it is WORK, but I am trying to be as healthy and driven as possible... So there you have it - 4 months, 47 pounds, no meds and normal blood work! Oh yes, and curly frizzy hair - well, I can live with tat, if it all falls out, I can go as Sinead for Halloween! Julianne Banded June 23, 08 - NWWLS Dr. Michaelson 275/267/255/243.3/228/145 (What do these #'s mean? Look below) HIGHEST-Start of diet - Surg. consult - Surgery date - today - goal August 26 My Diet Plan - Daily IntakeI still struggle with drinking and my band. I am not supposed to drink while I eat - either 20 minutes before or up to an hour after and even then only sips but not too much all at once - I can drink way too much way too fast and worry that I hurt my band because I have a big glass of water and before I know it it is all gone. FAST. I have to take measures to drink little cups which, if you have read my posts, you know I have little patience (or time) for. I dont know about you guys but I am finding that I LOVE diet ginsing tea (the kind from Arizona?) and I drink a small V-8 every day - when I miss the V-8 I REALLY feel it. May be that is psychological but here is my plan - my only problem is that they go down too fast: Weighty NewsSO - I continue to struggle with the fact that while the band (my little Borg friend, today her name will be Veonica....I have not settled on a name for her yet and it vexes me) I can still eat what I want and nothing really stops me but my guilt - though if I go too crazy it does hurt so I dont do that....but I was supposed to get sick when I ate things like bread or rice or pasta and so far they are still taunting me because no sick just an unrequited love affair. SO I stay away, but you know, it is not so bad, who wants to be sick?
I am now 223 on my scale. First thing in the morning, no coffee and naked it reads 220, but after I eat or drink anything it is 223, so that is where I think I a. The scale is not accurate. I will be making an appointment to see the RN soon as it has been a month, so it is time. I think I might do with a small fill (like I am a car) and weigh in....we will see.
Otherwise, I am chugging along. The kids start school next week, I go back to the trainer and the pool, then the pounds should REALLY start dropping. The Great news? Having started at 267 and now being down 40 in a few short months, I only have 70 to go to get to MY target....though I wonder if it is possible to get to the Dr target, which is 85 pounds away? I mean, I LAUGHED at him when he suggested I could get to 135. Tears in my eyes laughed. RIDICULOUS! Have not been that weight since High School an even then that was not a regular thing - the most consistent weight I ever was was 145/150 but he was pretty sure 135 wold work....this is like a Christmas Present, my weigh in days, so long as I remain honest to my program are almost....fun. So long asthe needle goes down down down....it is slow going, slower than Gastric Bypass, but my hope is that because it is slow my skin wont hang so badly. I am also using HEAVY CREAM after I shower to help with elasticity. That and multi vitamins and Vintamin E, here is hoping these things work! So far my skin looks fantastic, and the skin cancer areas (they were all pre cancers that were recently burned off) hav REALLY benefitted from the HEAVY Nivea cream.
SO here we go, and there you go. Last day for Free Movies at the movie theatre for the kids today. Every Tuesday they showed a movie for kids, you just had to get their early enough for free - course I bet they MORE than make up the cost on Popcorn - last week I spent $25 on popcorn and drinks for two little kids and a water for me! Shesh!
Tomorrow Harry and I meet Patrick's teacher and head to his orientation with all his school supplies - sob.....next week will be SO hard! August 25 Camping Aloha StyleSo - the great annual Camp Pierson went off without a hitch....well, there were a few hitches, but for the most part it went smooth and was possibly; with the exception of some missing regulars who were truly missed; the best camp out ever! It was so awesome and we were having so much fun, I took hardly any pictures - but those I did take were a lot of fun! So without further adieu....ladies and gentleman...here is how you do backyard camping with 20 little 5 year olds and 3 year olds....
Tent City! Here is the set up - looks fun, huh? Well it was! The only regret? No All Camp Photo this year - DANG IT!
And then Patrick did his special super secret FIRE dance - it was amazing, I am only sorry the camera did not get it all:
All in all it was a spectacular night! Harry BBQ'd his heart out and even worked the Hawaiian Shaved Ice machine! What a trooper! Here are some final pictures and finally a kiss from the Pierson kids who fell quickly asleep in our tent after a day of fun exclaiming that it was the best camp ever, though they missed some friends who could not make it....
ALOHA! Till next year - this is Camp Pierson signing out! Sure was fun....time to go to school now!
August 20 LuauSO - soon we will have our Luau and I am busy plannint for the end of this month. I have the supplies and schedule down and have made an itinerary so that I am on target - it does not seem like a hard thing to do, but with 20 some kids, all in tents and running around, to get anything accomplished takes planning! Just thought I would share my schedule; and can I just add - WHEW!
Camp Pierson LUAU Saturday Schedule 4:30 – 5:30 pm: Arrive; Set up Tent; Art & Play Time on Big Toy 5:30 – 6:30 pm: CRAFT CENTERS/Games & FOOD PREPARATION **tye dye shirts/Tribal Art Work/Glow in dark Poi Balls for Luau **Parents – we will need volunteers to help Julianne with CRAFT centers while Harry and others do BBQ and set up food table at this time. 6:30 – 7:30 pm: DINNER – help children eat first, while Parents eat, Julianne will teach children numbers for Luau entertainment 7:30 – 8:30 pm: GAMES/RELAYS & Hawaiian Shaved Ice ** Water Balloon relays, running and FISH SPRAY fun – Parents watch out for this one!! – plus Hawaiian Shaved Ice (small) for after dinner aperitifs **I will need a parent volunteer to help set up fire and S’Mores area, and to help supervise the relays 8:30 – 9:30 pm: LUAU ENTERTAINMENT **Your children will perform a Hula and FIRE DANCE (Special Guest Fire Dancer is Patrick Pierson; Special Guest Musician is John Gallagher) **S’Mores and Fireside Tales 9:30 pm: GOOD NIGHT CAMPERS! All Tent – Lights Out 9:45 pm Adults Convene on Deck for post bedtime activity at 10:00 pm *Margaritas*Conversation*General Oddities Camp Pierson LUAU Sunday Schedule 7:00 – 8:00 am; Wake up – Rise and Shine Campers! – Play inside house 7:30 – 8:30 am: Breakfast Served 8:30 – 9:30 am: Tear Down Camp/Clean up 9:30 – 10:00 am: Aloha Camp Pierson!
August 14 MahaloSo this year's annual backyard camp out is a Luau theme. We will have a pot luck and the kids will have some crafts and games and fun in the sun (providing there is any sun) and then we will put on a little Luau for the parents with the kids. I have some songs that they will sing, I will teach the kids the hula and then they are making "poi fire balls" out of paper and glow in the dark paint to do a "fire dance". I found a song that I am teaching them too, thanks to Laurie Berkner (dont you just LOVE her?) actually titled Mahalo - here are the lyrics - they will be priceless with a little novice hula and then a fire dance before we make s'mores by the fire:
Mahalo to the urchin
Mahalo to the sea
Mahalo to the skies above,
Mahalo to you and me
Sing Mahalo, Mahalo, Mahalo for everything
Mahalo - that means thank you
Mahalo mahalo mahalo
Mahalo for the air I breathe.
Mahalo to my Dad and my Mom.
My sisters and my brothers and my good friends.
Mahalo for sharing my song!
Sing Mahalo, Mahalo, Mahalo for everything!
Mahalo that means thank you
Mahalo Mahalo Mahalo
- Lyrics by Laurie Berkner
Is that not too sweet? I actually have lucked out and have a neighbor who plays the guitar and has kids coming to the event so I have accompaniment too! This will be awesome! YAY!!! Gearing up - you know me, gotta have it planned..... "Moooom, I TOLD you....."This is my 3 year old's FAVORITE phrase lately. I have gone from hero to zero in some ways. Overnight it seems I have become a raving idiot. "Mom, I said I dont like mustard, remember? PATRICK likes mustard, I like mayonaise...sheesh" an exasperated litle girl plops down and sulks. Well....oops. Patrick on the other hand is fond of the shoulder shrug and grunt of "I dont know" when you ask him anything. "Patrick, do you like this?" you get the shrug....teenagers already? Uh uh...not having it.
Then they do something and it turns the WHOLE day around. I was up in the office getting the pillows off the floor from a fort that they made and RIley exclaims, "Mommy, I just love you SO much" and runs and give e a hug. A real hug. I wish there was a speial place to store that so that when she shouts that I am a moron for forgetting the mustard/mayo rule I could take it out, polish it off and remember that moment....wait I guess that is what the blog is for.
Today we are stuck inside doing laundry so I can go to the Orcas Islands this weekend for a kayaking trip with my pals. I need the break, though I wish it was happening with my hubby, not that I wont have a blast with the girlies, it is just Harry and I could use an escape too - him especially - he has been working VERY hard. Soon he will be in Australia and New Zealand without us and that is no fun for him....I would make the most of it but he reverts to his inner geek and works till he is exhausted and then hops on line for more computer stuff. Sight seeing? Nah. Not for him.
I am hoping I get enough laundry done that I can escape with the kids to a pool for a spell but I also have lessons this afternoon that I must prepare for (a mommy and me at my house in my pool - I think the water might be too hot though since it will be a scorcher - you can NEVER tell with the weather here - I swear it is bipolar and forgets its meds as it suits the Gods)....
On a happier note I weighed in at 225 today. WHOO HOO! 42 pounds down and counting!!! August 12 AARP calling me?!?!?!?!OK I know I know I KNOW you are sick of me bemoaning my old age crap - but in the days following my speeches to myself to get over it aolready today not only did I get a letter from AARP welcoming me to eligiability BUT I also got two emails from them asking me to join. Um....hello...still in my 30's people....let's not RUSH it for God sakes!
Someday I will laugh at it, but today, not so much.
On a happier note, yesterday at Kohl's I bought a pair of Levi jeans because I was shocked at the price and could not walk past. I figured if they did not fit me yet, they would soon, and the price was SO good - $50 marked to $20 - too good to walk away from. Levi's are not exactly forgiving, but I have ALWAYS wanted some and have not been able to wear any since college. When I started my journey I was a size 24 and Levi's do not come in Grand Dame sizes, if you catch my drift. I grabbed a size 18 petite (they had a 20 but I decided that was shooting too low) and I did not have time to try on. I thought if they did not fit me now, they would soon, some of my 18's at home do, some dont, hard to tell.
This morning I grabbed them and thought "let's see how long till I get to wear these big boy's"....and tried them on. I have worn them all day. HA! That and the tee shirt I wore all day was an L - ladies you KNOW what a huge deal that is - I was a 3XL when I started now I am a woman's size Large. Not XL, just Large. Thanks. AWESOME! I have not seen a size L since before I was preggers with Rileyanne after I lost 75 pounds! Whoo hoo!
Just a little something to keep me going - had to share the glory... August 11 Getting To The Bottom Of ItSometimes marriage is just hard. Families are hard - wonderful, magical, fun but also hard, dirty and just plain work. I had asked my husband to help out more and he became a Household Warrior going WAY above and beyond. Because he was doing so much he was exhausted and because he was exhausted he was cranky - because he was cranky I interpreted him as angry and because I too was exhausted I had no patience. You see, his expectation was, "I am a hero - you asked for help and I have not only helped but I went overboard! Please acknowledge me!" and my expectation was, "Would you please consistently help me with the dishes?" By doing SO much, he WAS a hero, but I perceived it as him thinking I was a slave driver - and so the vicious cycle of argument continued until we were both disclosing our "card hands" and had the ah ha moment of, "No I dont feel that way, do you?" if we had just been a little more forth coming in the beginning it would ALL have been avoided, but it is so easy to be a Monday Morning Quarterback, huh? Thank you, Harry for all your help, and for not leaving this morning till we were resolved and better - THAT is why we are US. That said, my son now has a new bunk bed! I am anxiously looking for his bedding on line because Target discontinued it 2 years ago and I only bought one set then and painted the room to match (who knew Target stuff would be hard to find! That is why you buy it there!) - On a separate note - he is VERY into the Titanic lately as we are reading about it in his most recent chapter book. He spent the morning explaining to Riley that an Iceberg is a big mountain of ice that sits in the ocean but the REAL mountain is under the water and you dont see it but it can sink ships fast in the super cold water. My little geologist. Riley just wanted to know how she could put syrup on it and make a mountain sized snow cone - thats my gal. Today I get to go and get my fill at my weight loss center so that the saline in my band is right. I am still not feeling ANY restriction and loosing ground I fear. I am ready to start back at the pool and checking with my old trainer about when I get to start with his team of regulars again. Then the REAL metamorphosis will begin. My 42 pounds is great and people are noticing so I want to stay on my roll. OK that was a bad choice of words. Tomorrow we will go to the beach to swim if the sun ever pops out - here is a preview of our last trip as I promised my sister more pictures on this site - here you go...
Patrick, however, makes BIG construction jobs out of the sand dunes...
SO that is the word from my little family - peace out from the Pacific NW - please come back Sun..... Feeling ThreatenedSo, for a while I have been bemoaning the past. Who I was, I guess, has come up a lot because I am starting to morph again. I am loosing weight, I am working on things, I had family here and had to deal with issues I had put aside a while ago, etc. ANYWAY, you put all that together with a 20 year reunion, and well, I started wondering where did all the time go? SO I have been talking about it, and if you ask my husband, I guess I have been doing so at nauseum. It is after midnight and we have had a big row.
Here is the thing, it is NOT that I liked my life before him more - in fact it is the opposite in many instances - the time with him is going by so fast it is like I am blinking and things are slipping by. I told him tonight that I wish I could savor the time, take more time, and really be present, but all he seemed to hear was that I was more happy before I met him - completely not true. I was at a loss. URGH why cant someone be nostalgic without causing the other person to feel threatened? I dont know. I do know that my life is better, happier and more incredible with Harry than it ever was before him, but I cant communicate that right now, no matter how hard I try.
The things is, I like being a Mom. I know that is very unhip - but I do. I just sometimes miss being myself. Having my own identity that does not involve being a cruise director, seemstress, cook, maid, problem solver, teacher, servant, entertainer and school nurse every minute of every day. My Mom recently said my kids are walking all over me, my kids are talking back more and more and my husband seems angry a lot - yeah I am on a ROLL y'all.
OK I am venting a bit, obviously, but I seem to have lost the ability to accurately communicate with anyone without upsetting them so the problem must be me. I am not afraid to say so, I just dont exactly know what to do. I obviously needed some time to think about my past and I am sorry that it hurt my husband, there was no one I wanted to see or contact except maybe myself - but there is no talking about it. I guess I must learn to just keep it to my own damn self - guess I just blew that publishing it here too...uh oh.
I cant be the only Mom to feel this way. But where do we go? Back to our crafts, cartoons, parks and playdates and put a smile on that face because damn it this was our choice and we would make it a million times over again and again - even if sometimes it is hard and no one we talk to gets us remotely well. August 09 Getting Old, DudeNo I am not talking about McCain, I am actually talking about ME. I. Myself. I am ancient. I had a lovely dinner this evening with a very nice couple and their children who are the same ages (a little younger) than my cherubs, but the parents were younger. In discussing just HOW much younger, while telling them that THIS EVENING was my 20 year High School Reunion (NHHS Huskies y'all - Go Big Blue) I figured out that when I was hard core competing in swimming - you know by the 1984 Olympics in LA where I lived EVERYONE was swimming USS swimming and it was such a rush, the girl I was hosting was 3 years old. Lord Help Me.
Remember when you used to HATE being called "the Kid"? Or That Young Guy? Or the Newbie? Well, obviously those days are over for my husband and I. It was at that moment that I realized I was the old lady on the block. I was almost old enough to be this woman's Mom. Our kids are the same age - so I am almost old enough for....gulp...GRANDCHILDREN and my babies are still babies. See what happens when you have a carreer first and wait to have kids? It is a wierd bubble I live in in Seattle. Most of us are old broads with kids on the playground, but in the rest of the country I have to remind myself I am assumed to be a granny.
Anyway the dinner was lovely - could you please pass me my walker? I thinkI need to have my colostomy bag checked. More Stones - Different TopicOk - thingts are different from my hill billy youth. Back in the day, when we fell out of a tree, our parents wiped us up, told us to quit crying and said, "well, now you know better than to climb a tree in cut offs and flip flops - grow a brain". Well at least mine did. And you know what? In some cases I am better for it. Toughen Up Buttercup - I turned out ok (well except for the nervous ticks, but that is a topic for later discussion, ha ha ha). Today, our kids fall out of trees and instead of teaching them about natural consequences, some parents want to freak out and pass laws that prohibit limbs from being low enough to encourage or allow the activity to "Protect the kids" and as a result I beloieve we are raising a generation of painsy-assed, whining, sniveling, litigious whimps who cannot follow a thought through to a natural conclusion because they have never had to deal with a "real" consequence. It is a mistake. Then again, some of our laws do make some sense.....
Today I read this story about a grandmother who let her grandchild ride on the roof of her car in a store parking lot. Here is the story -
Grandma Arrested for Driving With 3-Year-Old on Roof for Fun MARATHON, Fla — Authorities say a grandmother was arrested for driving around the parking lot of a Marathon grocery store with her 3-year-old child sitting on the roof of the car. Monroe County Sheriff's Office deputies were called to the Publix store Tuesday and arrested a 54-year-old woman after she was driving around with her three-year-old granddaughter on the roof of her car. The grandmother was released from jail 15 hours later. The woman said Thursday she would never let anything hurt her granddaughter. She says she was driving at "snail-speed" and holding the child's leg. Authorities say the woman told police she was giving the child some air and letting her have fun. She faces charges of child abuse. The child is back with her mother What a dip shit move. First, back in the day, I remember going to a track with my hill billy daddy. OK he was not a real hill billy, but it is a hill billy deal to go to Nascar...I know I know it is VERY popular NOW with EVERYONE, but back then in the '70's if you drank COORS or PBR and had cut offs and drove a Chevy Nova, this was the SHIT. Now at the track, they did let the kids sit on the roof and go around the track at a snail pace. BUT it was controlled and more than one adult was in charge, and well - remember the natural consequences thing? Perhaps we were doing our own version of Darwin's Weening out the species I dont know. This Grandmother perplexes me. On what planet does this seem like a good idea? Let me know if you follow her logic - I have a 3 year old, I want to give her some air - so I A.) take her for a walk to a park to play, or B.) Get some Ice Cream and watch some sprinklers and perhaps play in them or C.) hold on to her tiny still developing boney leg while I use my several ton vehical to do spin outs in a parking lot where other cars I have no control over are moving? Seriously, maybe it is not just THIS generation that missed the boat on natural consequences, maybe we are looking at a multi-generational cluster of dumb asses. Seriously. Who does this? What would you do if you saw this scene playing out at your local piggly wiggly? Anyway, it is HIGH TIME we started looking at our actions and the actions of our young and following them to a natural conclusion that is all I am saying. The world would be SO much better if we all used some more foresight. I am teaching this to my kids anyway, and they do look at me like I am a crazy person - Patrick actually said to me yesterday when I asked him to think about how his actions were encouraging other kids to do something dangerous and just because he is bigger and older does not make climbing on a fence safe, "But Mommy, the other parents dont yell at their kids for it, why do you care so much?" Oh Lord - I had to respond, "I care because it is my job, because I love you and because dang it I worked too hard to make you and now I am old and cant make more so I have to be careful and so do you." He did not get the humor, but a woman a few feet away almost spit out her latte from laughing so hard. Glad to see someone gets my humor. August 08 Casting StonesSo - I was so truly bummed out when John Edwards left the race. I know I know - we ALL want CHANGE. We want a nation where a black man or a woman can run and win and the time of rich white men just was not this race, but I LIKED him. Now, I am just pissed. Listen, I am not his wife, I am not his kid, and I am not his family - so whatever my opinion is it is irrelevant. That said, when the Clinton thing happened, I was adamant that it was between him, his wife, the girl and his family - if he had just not lied that would have been awesome. How cool would it have been if back then Bill Clinton got up and said, "It is between me, the girl, my wife and my kid. Enough comments - lets fix the country" that would have been awesome. If John had said, "This is between me, my wife, the woman and my family" instead of lying I would feel better - but several years ago he cast a LOT of stones Clinton's way calling him out for showing disrespect for his family, his office, the country, etc etc etc http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26095810?GT1=43001 BUT he did the SAME thing! Urgh - people suck. Dudes, keep it in your pants and if you MUST let the "little man" out, why lie? WHose business is it anyway? Just toughen up, buttercup, and state it like it is....IT IS BETWEEN YOU, YOUR FAMILY, and the POOR SAP WHO WAS UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE BEEN YOUR PLAYMATE....enough said.
August 04 Am I Supposed To Feel That?So - as you are well aware - even if you check in sporadically - I have had Lap Band surgery. Again I feel the need to explain because I find myself doing this endlessly even with people who know and love me. Consider that I have altered the shape (all be it temporarily - it CAN be reversed even if I never intend to do so - ever - that surgery was not for wimps the first time around I doubt I could face it again) the shape of my stomach. Now instead of a large kidney shaped stomach organ, I have a small pouch on top, followed by a manipulated hour glass opening (where the pouch acts like a pony tail holder tieing my stomach together) and the rest of what my parents made for me is underneath. The good news is that I digest the food the same as always, so there is no need to freak out and deal wit problems facing many patients of gastric bypass, I can eat anything that can get through that opening. Which, unfortunately for me, is still EVERYTHING.
There is an ellusive topic other lap bandsters call "restriction" thus far I have not experienced it. I mean, if I eat WAY more than I should, yes I do feel that, because hello the pouch is only so big, so if I fill it I feel that - but thus far whatever I have asked to go through the hour glass has slipped by no problemo. Now, I am loosing at a fairly easy rate at about 2-3 pounds a week, which is comfortable and nice, so I am not stressing - I mean WHO WANTS TO GET SICK??? Not me. If I enjoyed that, as I have said in the past, I would have had a slew of other problems to deal with. However, I KNOW me. I can and do justify almost anything with the best of 'em. I am just fortunate I do not have any addictions (other than sour dough bread) that I am aware of. Bread and baked goods are my crack. I have never met a warm buttered ANYTHING I did not want to make mad pasisonate love to for hours and devour like a nymph on leave from her God's garden....but I digress....
On the band diet there should be no bread, rice, potato, tortilla, zip nada zilch nothing. These are the stuff that is supposed to back you up and block your hourglass. So far that is not the case with me and little by little I will and do find small ways to sabotage. Am I alone? I mean seriously? You order ANYTHING out or try to make anything at home with out instinctively making pasta, bread, rice, or tortillas with it. If you can and do do that regularly, PLEASE send me the recipes and I will be forever in your debt. I am still struggling with the not drinking while I eat! I am supposed to drink 20 minutes prior to eating and ionly an hour afterwards. Drinking pushes food through too fast 0 even for those of you not with a band. It makes you eat MORE...if you are like all the other Americans out there, STOP DRINKING WHILE YOU EAT and find ways to drink before and afterwards. Your body does need the 60-80 oz of fluid just not while you eat. Also some more tips that help me I will outline below - but make no mistake - as of now I am still making it on SMALL portions, concentrating on what I eat and NO sugar. That will not last I can promise you. If it WOULD last I would NOT have needed to invest in gastric surgery. So I will schedule yet another "fill" and go in for my usual lube 'n tube with the RN at the surgery center. They say it takes multiple "fills" to get it right, and then many people get "over filled" and have to go back for an "unfill" I am not looking forward to that, but it will be interesting to see what this thing called restriction is.
ANYWAY here is what I do:
I do not eat any more food than can fit on an old salad plate. That translates to about 1/2 a cup of food.
I eat with a baby spoon or fork - that keeps the amount I shovel in small and I count to 10 (silently of course) between bites. It takes me a good 20 minutes to eat anything this way. When out and about I use chop sticks. That makes the eating go slower too. (Most people have the next fork full at the ready so they are literally shovelling food in without stopping for air. This is a way to get a LOT more food in than you intend to)
I stop drinking 20 minutes before I eat and do not drink anything for at least an hour afterwards. If something is too spicy I am screwed because I cannot drink. I can take a small bite of yogurt to tame the burn if it is bad. Drinking while you eat washes food through your stomach faster than eating without drinking and so you eat MORE and are hungry faster after eating - not good.
I do not eat snacks that are not planned. Planned snacks include protein bars occasionally but mostly are nuts (I count them out - how anal I have become - but otherwise I could easily eat more than a few servings worth - mindless snacking can be a problem for me) or cottage cheese. I also like to have a can of V8 because veggies are not always pleasant for me to chew.
Speaking of chewing - with the band you gotta chew everything to excess. To swallow, it must be the consistency of baby food. Maybe that is why I have never been sick. I took them all seriously when they told me this. I chew forever, I NEVER swallow fast and when I notice that I am talking or reading or multitasking while I eat I STOP and just eat otherwise I will likely forget to chew. I chew every bite no less than 20 times - so I better like what is going in my mouth, it is gonna be there a while.
I still think I am not getting enough protein, but I am not really working out yet so it is ok. I must take a daily chewable multi vitamin and I make sure to drink at least one V8 daily (but that is ok they are like a treat for me, I love them - I know I am a FREAK!)
The things that are wierd are the things I thought would be a BIG deal that really are not. I miss carbonated drinks, who wouldnt but they are not on my mind all the time. I never think about it till I see someone pop a top or am in a diner place seeing people enjoying a yummy cola. Or beer. Or soda water - uh oh now it is on my mind - thanks a lot little blog! Seriously though, they have frozen sugar free popscicles that are soda flavors and those are allowed and fill the need. In a pinch I will share a SMALL cola flavored Icee with the kids and a few sips will do me. I am allowed other drinks though so no biggie. It was easier than I thought.
I thought burgers and stuff would be harder to miss, but you know, I have tried them at least while nothing gets stuck and I gotta tell you - burgers just do not taste good if you gotta chew them 20 times for every bite. If you are not inhaling it, it just is not much fun. Same with most junk food. Pizza, hot dogs, pretty much crappy food is pretty crappy if you gotta chew it to the point of liquification. Blech. No thanks.
You know what I have noticed? I never realized how much I LOVED shell fish. I mean it is becoming a religious experience. Squid (not shell fish, but I include it because I get all these things at the same places), shrimp, crab, lobster, all good things. Meats are tough because they must be moist and easy to swallow - over cooked and they are no go. I am scared to get "stuck" not that anything ever has. Enough people have complained about chicken to scare me off of it completely. I never really liked it much anyway, so no loss - but I thought I would REALLY miss red meat as it was always my favorite. Turns out, unless it is a REALLY good expensive cut and prepared med. rare, I am not going to eat it. Period.
SO now I am even more of a food snob than before - but I actually cost less to entertain and I eat only the best. Ha ha ha....now if only I could get this contraption working so it was not all my old Catholic guilt that kept me from turning back into a whale.....
I did notice something though - I went to the gym the other day and someone was staring at my incision marks. I dont think they are that bad, really, but I guess they look painful because they WERE painful, and unless you understand how hard it has been on my path and struggle it might look like I chose to harm myself. I didnot want to hurt myslef, and I do not like pain, but I do wear my scars with some pride. I wear them like a new bride wears a wedding ring - I know as long as I touch them, see them, remember them, and how hard they were to heal and feel and deal with, I will think twice before I jump into the drive through at DQ and get a large float or loaf of bread. You dont cheat while you look at your lovely wedding ring, do you? NO! You dont cheat while you remember scars of a life altering experience that made you different from the you you were before either. So stare away, but remember, I am not a freak and these are not my piercings.
Oh, and have I mentioned that all this on my mind and the kids are now phasing out of naps so that by 5:30 they are whining crying messes screaming at each other and I have no energy to help? Oh my house is SUCH fun - do come visit - but bring your A game food wise and PLEASE do NOT bring chocolate or I will hurt you. (and I say that with love;) August 03 Now That Summer's OverLast night I was wearing the following to a neighborhood BBQ: Long thick black jeans, thick socks, UGG boots (yes the wool kind), a thick turtle neck AND the warmest wool Christmas sweater I own. It was 54 degrees in the shade. In August. AUGUST. If it is this cold NOW in a few months I am seriously screwed. That was my wardrobe when it snowed!!! What the hell is going on? Even now it is 58 degrees in my house. IN MY HOUSE. My friend was stressed last week because her heater did not work - in August! That is all kinds of wrong. We had two weeks tops of lovely weather, now it is cold again. I dont mind a cold, snowy winter so long as I get my summer and spring - is that asking too much? I love my house, I love my new friends, I HATE this weather. Seriously. If the gray is bringing me down now, November is gonna so completely suck.
Good news though - while I wont make it to my 20th year reunion (where the hell did the time go??? NHHS class of '88 Huskies, I will miss you!) but I will be in LA in October - so maybe I will get some sun then. I am COUNTING on that actually. We will hang in Santa barbara a bit and then head down to the Biltmore (I went to a prom there so I am sorta excited not to show up in a '78 nova with only $10 in my pocket hoping not to need to call my Mom to come and get me - my how times change) and maybe head down to San Diego for a spell. The boy is getting a little old for Lego Land and he would SO dig it so that is kinda a must.
Anyway, if you see me and wanna give a shout out to Nannuk from the North as I will likely be sporting my best winter gear (fleece and all) give a holla....I will try to restrain myself from making egg nog in August, but the pumpkin pie day dreams I cannot hold in. I find myself looking at the trees already wondering when they will turn and fall - whoosh - that Summer flew by! |
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