OK, I will so obviously NOT be winning this award this year, I mean hello. Still I try, dont we all? Today I was sure I was a hero. I cleaned the house yesterday, did mountains of laundry, got the decorations sorted, some presents wrapped, and even made tiny gifts for all 20 kids in my son's class and all 18 in my daughter's class, plus special gifts for their teachers. Then I made home made Peppermint Fudge for all of Harry's co-workers, some of my co-workers, the kids teachers and special helpers, and my Mom. I even made a whole huge tin of it for ALL the staff at my school. I was ON man. Sure I did not go to bed till after 2 but hey, what is that to a commited mom? (Or should I say a Mom who should be committed? I suppose that is in poor taste, please dont come take me away, I dont look good in grey) ANYWAY Harry took the girl to school this morning with all her "goodies" and treats and I was like, "Look at that! You are it girl! You are making it work in the "burbs! Rock on super Mom!" The honor party was short lived, as you can imagine if you read my blog even occasionally...the shoe always drops, and usually on my head!

 

SO Harry calls frantic, "I forgot her back pack! Does she need it??" Well, it has her diapers in it, but I suppose she can make it for 2 hours, dont sweat it. I am sure it will be ok. Now that was the first red flag in the day. Then the tree guy comes and estimates that we need several thousand dollars worth of preventative tree services, YIKES and gulp before the New Year by the way because there is a big storm heading down our pike. Great. So Patrick and I start picking up and I notice the time, SHoot I am late! Get the kid in the car, get his stuff for his school, get the cell phone to call a friend who is having surgery tomorrow (Cathia, dear, we are praying for you honey) and off I go. I am now 15 minutes late to Riley's school.

 

I get there and there is NO ONE there. Well wait there is one other family, Riley's "BFF" at school Liv whose lovely family is from Germany is there, Mom, Dad, all dressed up...the teachers are all dressed up...no kids for the lunch group...oh shit...THERE WAS A SCHOOL PARTY TODAY AND I MISSED IT! Not only did the girl have a saggy VERY wet diaper (thanks to the no back pack) but she was the only little 2 year old with out her family with her! My new friend in her lovely German accent was like, "I stayed in case you meant for me to take her home...can I help you?" then I realized it. I looked a state. I had my hair in a kerchief because I am cleaning. I was wearing a sweat shirt and jeans because in walking around the property with the tree guy my other clothes got drenched and every one around me looked like Christmas day where I looked like the person receving alms. Poor Riley. She looked up when she saw me, "Mommy, I looked amd looked for you. Where my Daddy? Livvy's Daddy here. EVeryone's daddy here. My daddy not here. Where you be at, Mommy?" I so completely suck. Of all days to be late, without a diaper and not prepared. Well, it be's that way sometimes, as the incredible Nina Simone taught me.

 

Now I run to get Patrick to school, fly through the drive through for lunch because I have had no time, and remind him of his stuff for his teachers. Get him to school on time (one small victory anyway) and he starts coughing. Uh oh. Is he sick? Did I not even notice? I remind him I will be at home if he needs me to come get him, that his treats for his friends and his teachers are there and I love him and on his way out the door he hands me his uneaten lunch and says, "Mommy, will you forget and be late to get me today too?" OUCH!

 

SO I drove home feeling about the size of a pea and still have mountains of work to do. It just goes to show you, even when you are sure you will be the windshield, you are really just the bug. And even with the best of intentions and a lot of work, you still go SPLAT!

 

OK, so I will go make something wonderful for snack, have some favorite thing for dinner and put this behind me. If the worst I do is be 15 minutes late and diaperless for my kids on day in a million of prepared days, I am still doing pretty well...I just cant get that through my head at the moment.

 

Holidays are hard man...where is the magic, the snow, the happy? Well, we are happy, and the fudge is delicious....maybe I will have a slice and that will help. Chocolate cant hurt, right? Happy happy to you! Join me in some chocolate guilt binging? Good. I hate to binge alone, it is so unseemly. :)

 

Dude, is it me or is the season simply FLYING by? I have not gotten anything together, in laws will be here in a week and while thankfully the shopping is done, the house is a PIT. WTF? How do I do this every week? I get it under somewhat control and then the blitzkreig. I am screwed. I am so overwhelmed this year and cannot figure it out. I have everything done, I just gotta get it up and going, so why I am dragging my feet? I dont get it. EVery day we have at least two things planned again. EVERY DAY. How do people do this? I have friends who plan school, some activity (maybe two) and dinner out and still they seem to have their houses in order. How do they do that? I dont get why I cant get it together. People around me seem to look so effortless, but I know that is just my perception... still it is hard to shake that feeling that  I am the looser who cant get it all done at the end of the day.

 

SO here is my proposal. I will wrap my thoughtful gifts and pick up but I will not compare my house to others. Cut myself a break and just stop the reccurring broascast in myhead that I suck, I do not suck. I must say that to myself daily. My husband was awesome this weekend and the twinkling lights outside are great. Now the inside needs work. Between the shuttle of school, and activities and work, I MUST take 15 minutes every evening to work on something. There it is. Not much but it will help. As it is, I look around, notice that it is spinning wrecklessly out of my control and give in to the couch and some TiVo'd stuff because that is easier. That stops today.

 

I am also pledging to myself to make a list of what I MUST do for the next two weeks. I may not hit everything, but hopfully when I see it on paper I will understand that it is not Herculan, it is just life, and lighten up a bit. Yesterday Harry made me get in the shower and wash the bad day off me. I wish I could wash the Christmas onto me, but I guess it does not work that way. I am SO excited about the gifts I got everyone this year, and the season itself...everyone here for the holiday will be awesome...Maybe if I could just sit and wrap the loot, once we get the tree together, and see them under it I will feel better. I think my honey and I will try to decorate the tree tomorrow night. That will help emmensely.

 

Try to stay calm, remember it is the season of love, and just breathe. I will try to remember that myself. I am really looking forward to getting it done, now to start! 

I just got a few emails asking me to boycott the showings of the movie "The Golden Compass" on the grounds that it is blasphemous and anti-God and any "good" Christian sould avoid ALL movies this weekend to "send a message to Hollywood's bottom line, their pockets" to let them know that this sort of thing is not going to be stood for.... yadda yadda yadda.

 

Was anyone not aware that this was an Anti-Religious piece? Even so, why do people get so terrified of different points of view? What is so scary about hearing things or seeing things you fundamentally would argue against? I dont get it. How seriously are we meant to take this work of fiction? It is a film, is it not meant to be purely for enjoyment? Why are people freaking out?

 

Well, people may not like hearing other points of view, but I do. I am REALLY looking forward to this movie. I would not take my kids, I mean, duh. It looks too scary and if there are "messages" like any movie I see it first, discern how I will talk about it and whether it is worth watching it as a family. Not because of "Chiristian" stuff, but because that is called responsible parenting, remember that? Still, I am REALLY looking forward to the movie. I cant go this weekend as there are too many things in the event planner, so I guess I am participating in the boycott by default, but it almost makes me want to go more because I think it is just plain stupid to assume I am an idiot and my faith is so fragile that it cant stand up to a silly movie.

 

Listen, if a movie is THAT powerful, maybe my faith was not worth much to begin with. If your convictions and core values and beliefs are so swayed by a work of fictional entertainment "art" then you deserve whatever the wind blows at you. Dont assume I am so easily persuaded and please stop telling me that boycotting anything will help my "faith". It wont. It will make me look ike a sheep, a flibberty jibbit who cannot stand up to a movie. No thanks. I look forward to discussing politics that differ from my own, religions that differ from my own and philosophies in general that differ from my own. That is not only how I grow but also how I know what I really believe. If I never exposed myself to anything "controversial" to my known territory or faith, how would I ever know what I really believed? I would just be a follower. I need to know that I made a choice, and an educated one at that....though lets be clear it is STILL JUST A MOVIE. It is not educating me, sure I can discuss its merits over a pint or whatever, the book was fascinating I remember that, but whatever man it is just fiction. Food for thought I guess.

 

Anyway, when people tell me to boycott stuff, it always makes me on guard a bit. Why? Is there REALLY a danger? Isn't there room in our hearts, minds and souls for all points of view? Lets just reexamine things for a second.....Cant we all just get along? What is so frightening about controversial points of view? Bring it on, lets talk about it, learn what we can and agree to disagree if that is what must be, but why sequester oneself from everything for fear's sake?

 

FEAR is the one thing I wont  allow to teach me a lesson.

 

 

Riley was coming out of her skin today she was SO excited to be going to school. She goes to a Protestant pre school at a Presbeterian church. I claim clemancy...her teachers are a Catholic and a Russian Orthodox, so between the mixture of faiths she will get a well rounded representation if you ask me. They are DARLING with her and she loves singing the songs and playing with her new "friends". There is a girl in particular that she had bonded with named Livvy. How great is that name? Livvy is just a happy little doll of a name but not so cutsie that she cant grow up and be a CEO. LOVE it. Today while shopping for Christmas Presents she was BELTING out the following, " The B-I-B-L-E yes dats da book for me, I stand a-bone onda word of God, the B-I-B-L-E!" So shy, my little one. A Lutheran Minister had to come up to me and giggle. I love how many new people children have brought to our lives.

 

Patrick is having a hard time at school. Yesterday, when I picked him up we had a whirlwind in the car discussing sociological ramifications of the Power Rangers. Apparently he has an arch enemy because they both want to be the Red Power Ranger and dont you know that the Red Power Ranger is the best Power Ranger and the most powerful Power Ranger and only the Red Power Ranger can be the ultimate super hero and save all their friends on the play ground if a bad guy shows up? Yes I know that was an awful sentence but that is EXACTLY how he said it to me so I wanted to share the experience. I tried to say that they obviosly have a LOT in common and maybe there could be two Red Power Rangers to save the children in the event of a catastrophe. You would think I had blasphemed the Lord God. He gasped as though I had shot him and said quick as a bunny, "But Mom, you just dont get it do you? There can be only ONE ultimate Power Ranger, supreme Super Hero of them all...there can only be one ultimate super best guy." To which I then try, "Cant you take turns?" (I am trying here to teach inclusion, sharing, benevolence, all that good parent stuff, and apparently missing the mark so completely I should hang up my Mommy apron and go work at Star bucks for all I seem to get his argument and he knows it) "Oh Mom" he groaned...seriously my 4 year old groaned at me like a moody teen age diplomat! "You just SO....DO... NOT... GET... IT! I am the Red Power Ranger, I have always been the Red Power Ranger and I will always be the Red Power Ranger. Red is not only my favorite color, it is my JOB to help my friends and be a hero. I cant share duties. You and Dad cant both drive the car at the same time either." He had a point, but what it had to do with Power Rangers I will never know.

 

Have I mentioned that the kid has NEVER to my knowledge even seen a Power Rangers show? I wanted to say, "Since you have never seen the show, how do you know that the Yellow Power Ranger doesn't completely and utterly kick ass?" but I thought better of it. Perhaps it is better letting him think I just do not get it for now. I am stil trying to figure out whee and why he has a savior complex at such an early age and exactly what the hell to do about it honestly. I have NO Earthly idea and that coupled with his perfectionism freaks me out a little.

 

On the same note, that same boy...the alter ego Red Power Ranger.. also "stole his girlfriend" while we were in Canada. We were gone for a week and Patrick got in the car and after making his Power Ranger proclaimation said, "To make things worse, he also stole my Sophie. He changed her into his special girlfriend instead of mine. I hate that kid. He gets everything!" That was when I put my foot down. It is one thing to quibble over the Red Power Ranger but Hate is a powerful word even at age 4.

 

"Sweetie, you do not Hate him. You are feeling left out because you missed a week and things changed while you were away having fun. Nothing stops for us while we are away. Sophia is lovely, she loves you and she can be a special friend to both of you boys. Friends should not have to chose whom to be friends with, you should learn how to include everyone. Please do not say you hate anyone." Whew. Then I thought about it more...."Did you tell this young man or Sophia how you felt?" pause...sniff, tear...sniff..."Nope, I just started to dig with another kid and leave them alone, that is what they wanted anyway, they did not want me around"...sniff, tear...sniff..."Well, I bet if you tell them you felt left out you can work something out. Use your words, remember to keep an open mind and heart, maybe this boy will be a GREAT friend. Think of all you have in common, you both love Super Heros, you both love the color Red, you both love Sophia and you both like to play the same games. Sounds to me like if you are smart and open and include him, you guys could have make the most awesome supreme super hero elite team ever and have a super time. Let them know you feel left out, but remember that no one can make you feel anything. You feel it because of something. Use your words and love your friends."

 

Today I went to get him and he said, "Mama, we all played and it was so fun! Instead of Power Rangers, Sophia taught us how to be dogs...watch this, WOOF!" That is more like it, though now I gotta wonder how cool is this chick? Not only is she a Tom Boy which I love, she got these pre-testosterone boys off their Super Hero kick to be animals and then tamed them as dogs? I gotta bottle some of her Chutzpah!

 

Viva La playground! I want a tee shirt that says "Sophia's Team" that kid rocks.