Rileyanne sings ALL the time. Usually, though, no one knows what the heck she is singing. Patrick can sometimes translate, but lately it has been all about singing the song "Ring Around The Rosie". She likes to hold her brother's hands and sing, twirl, and of course All Fall Down.

 

Still sometimes she slurs her words, I mean come on she is only 17 months old! Still, we were getting through the lines at the store tonight, went to Whole Paycheck...er I mean Whole Foods....to get pumpkins as they were the best deal in town...11 cents a pound! Anyway in line she was singing the song over and over. Harry looks up at me and says, "I swear she is saying s-h-i-t." No no, she is singing ashes ashes...we get in the car and she goes VERY loudly..."Aw Shit, Aw Shit, We go BAM!" Well, never a dull moment around here!

 

The house is coming along. 30 toddlers wioll ascend upon it tomorrow, so I am not going insane cleaning, who am I kidding, as soon as they get here it will be trashed, so why bother? I did get fake spider webs for the strair rails though! Fun! I cant wait, I will have pictures for my next post!

 

And remember, when the going gets tough, just sing as loud as you can RIley's little ditty...it is catchy, and hey it has to make you smile a little!

So today was tough man. The second day of deprivation and I am already in poor spirits, does not bode well. Last July I was taken in by an infomercial...TURBO Jam. I got the video's and stuff and promptly shelved them. I cant explain the lack of motivation, but alas, I never ever opened them. Today, after eating yesterday according to diet, I started the video this morning. Can I just say I jiggle where a body was not meant to jiggle and I am not proud, but I AM proud that I made it through the damn video. It was, exactly what it touted to be, fun, empowering, and hard as hell.

 

Anyway, so the morning went like this: Wake at the crack of dawn. Babies and husband snoring happily, as they should be after a LONG night in which baby # 2 would not go to sleep. She and Harry must have been exhausted. After a day of dieting I had a headache ( not too surprising) so Harry took the baby. Way to go Daddy! I tip toe downstairs and move some furniture getting prepared for my Turbo Jam. I dont know why, but in my head I totally hear Arnold Swartzenagger say the word and am already to become the military beast I must become to find the self discipline to do this daily. I hop on the Gazelle I bought us last Christmas and barely used since. I made it somehow by the grace of God for 10 minutes and was sure I would drop dead. I mean seriously, who was the crazy guy who invented this torure machine? He should be shot. Maybe he dropped dead while on the machine, this thought alone keeps me going. I HATE the machine, was happy to stop and have since knick named it a name I cannot mention in good company that starts with F and ends in R. F&*#%R. But I did it and feel a little like Rocky, and go to turn on the Turbo Jam.

 

I cannot for the life of me figure out the X-Box which is our DVD player as well. I mean I am pushing buttons, trying every trick I can think of, and being completely outsmarted by this machine that is taunting me. "You will not be making this easy will you?" I swear it just laughed at me. Well, I cant let the machine win, for heavens sake. Patrick is up, I get him a breakfast oatmeal bar and milk to tide him over, and go ask my husband, with my tail between my legs, how to work the control. It is so sad that I have a college degree and the machine won...well not completely, as much as I wanted to just make french toast and quit I didn't so there. Ha ha ha.

 

Apparently I forgot to turn the controller from TV to DVD...um...duh. Well, whatever I wont let it get me down damn it! I start the video, I kick ass. Seriously, I am strong, I can do this, and then....the cute, friendly and intoxicatingly nice (how can she be SO niuce and talk about fighting moves? It is like watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer shout cheers while she kills someone all the while smiling a sweet sugary smile.) tells me to do a round house, row like I am throwing a victim to the floor, and punch the air like I mean it. I am shouting, jiggling and boogeying my butt off and pretty much being the phsyical incarnation of the word DORK. Harry comes down and actually takes his life in his own hands, considering I have had NO chocolate in 48 hours. "Honey, you missed a step..." I mean, hello? He is sitting there critiquing me? Seriously? Poor guy. He was just trying to help but I did what any wife would do. While puffing I said, "Would you please....: He got the drift. I look down and Rileyanne is boogying with me. I swear she is doing exactly what is on the TV. My little dancer. Patrick is shouting encouragement from the sidelines, "Go Mommy!" and Harry left to take a shower. Good idea. I know he was trying to help, but while I can handle the two little beings I gave life to and who pretty much think I hung the Moon and Stars seeing me flabby butt jiggling to the music, since they dont know better, I am just a little more than self conscious about my husband seeing it and being scarred for life and never wanting me in THAT way again, you know? He insists, as he should, I am beautiful regardless, but still. When I have lost a ton of weight and am comfortable with the series he can watch, but for now, I need to not have anyone watching.

 

I stuck the diet today though and have to say I actually feel pretty good. I mean, sure I could inhale an entire french loaf of bread with butter, or chocolate, or both....but I am doing this. I am DOING this.

If you have never had a migraine, let me enlighten you with the extent your luck actually is. Imagine, if you will, someone taking an old fashioned wine opener, you know the one that cork screws through the cork and then with a plunk hits the inside cavity of the bottle, then you have the wings to push down on and you lever the cork up and out of its tightly fit old home and watch as it expands. Now think of that cork as your brain, and there is an imaginary cork screw going into either temple (both at the same time if you are me) and then pulling your brain out through the small hole the screw made. It is excrutiating and will make even the most stubborn, I aint got time to hurt, Mommy cry. And that is how Harry found me just yesterday morning at 5 am. Crying in hideous monumental pain. He asked if he should call 9-1-1 and I actually said, "I have been thinking about it" and he wasted no time getting up getting the kids up, getting us all in the car and off to the Swedish ER in Issaquah we rode. You see, if I dont put up a fight for something like that, you KNOW it is bad. And it was. I was just behind the Eight Ball so to speak. Sometimes when a migraine gets that out of control there is just nothing else you can do. I now have a history of Migraines so I know. The IV makes me itch, badly almost convulse but it is still worth it when the pain goes away.

 

You see, I never EVER leave the house without the prerequisite snacks one should have when toting two toddlers. Mountains of sippy cups remain in my car till I run out and have to clean the damn thing out and find cups all under the seats. They are almost always just filled with water so it is not gross, but still, I never ever leave without snacks and drinks for them. Now, I almost never ever remember such items for myself. Let me hear it gals, we Mommy's put ourselves last. I dont know one single woman who does not do this. We just do. That is the deal. Then it takes something serious, like a crack of dawn trip to the ER to make us see that it is a mistake to do this.

 

Harry was upset, understandably so, but not about what you might think. He was not upset to get up so early, or even to get the kids in the car or drive during a fog fest that would make Jon Carpenter the horror film guru envious. Driving through that alone was insane. No no no, none of this mattered. It was the fact, the undeniably true fact that it was obvious that I had not been taking care of myself that truly irked him. He actually said, "I can fight anyone over anything but I cant fight you for you, that should not be my job." and that is a bit of truth that was bitter to swallow as I was searing in pain, but it did not make it untrue. In fact the fact that I could not refute it was in fact the very thing that made it hard to take. "When are you going to see how important you are?" Urgh, never, well maybe when I am gorgeous, have my PhD and am holding a Nobel prize...well, no probably not then either. That has to be frustrating. I get it. I think my husband is wildly handsome, but he never sees it and that can be frustrating, but not in the gut wrenching heart throbbing way he was trying to convey. It seems, I was hurting him, physically, by not taking care of myself. Whoa. Like it is not bad enough that I hurt myself with my working two jobs, taking care of everyone to the point that I forgot, plain forgot to drink water, now it hurts him too? yes it does. It hurt him, it scared my babies, it made my poor Mom wake at dawn to take care of my babies because I was down at the local ER getting fluids. It hurt everyone and I feel pretty damn bad about it to be honest.

 

SO, today I am meeting some friends at Costco. We are attempting to do the 20/20 diet we all did after our first babies where I lost 75 pounds and worked out no less than 20 hours a week and eat nothing but protein and fat, that is it, well some veggies but NO sugar, bread, rice, starch of any kind, it sucked to be me but wasnt my ass fabulous diet. Yes, after Patrick, my body became a tample. I drank no less than 100 oz of cool water a day, only water too I might point out, no jiuce, no coffee, for a splurge I drank sparkling water. Anyway, we cant really afford to send me back to the lovely people at the Pro Club to shape my rather abundant backside, and neither can my fellow Mommies, so together we are pooling what we know about the diet, making a log, checking in once a week with a weigh in and food diary check, and a supportive talk about what our week was like and how we can stick it. We will be each others life line when we want that chocolate sundae so bad we will literally wrestle for it, and hopefully remain friends as the toxins drip out of our bodies and we become a tad, dare I say it, bitchy. Oh face it, it is bad enough when you get bloated but put that much pressure on yourself AND deny yourslef treats at this time of year? Come on we are asking for at least one of us to go off the deep end.

 

Still, by taking this plunge, I will hopefully emerge smaller, more in control of what I eat (especially when I am stressed, which is face it, a lot of the time!) and a support network is always welcome. If I blow it, I can always go back to 20/20 in March when I will have hit the 3 year mark!

Today was Patrick's turn to bring snacks at the hoity toity pre school we have him in. It is lovely, clean, fun and he is having a blast, but any Mom will tell you it is hard to come up with ideas when you look out of your minivan that is admittedly a tad messy...ok a moving bomb of trash, but I digress...and you see these prim proper ladies who must MUST be taking SOMETHING that I have never heard of that enables them to always be clean and shiny,  their kids immaculate and their bags full of tasty, organic, natural fuel filled snacks that would make the food network envious. Ahem, that is not me people. I am THAT mom, you know the one, the one on the play ground who let her kids wear their jammies out because they wanted to under their rain boots with an old skirt of mine tied around their neck as a "cape". WHo, when asked for a snack, rummages in the bottom of her bag to come up with a prepackaged pack of cheese product smashed between two salty MSG filled crackers. Lets face it, the Horizon organic milk club missed my doorstep, heck they missed my house completely! Not comepletely true, when forced I can come up with some winners! But to be honest, it is an effort, and the other Mommies all seem effortless in their contributions, in their perfect crisp hoody outfits from the JLo collection or whatever with perfect hair, bleached teeth and no fat deposits anywhere. I am a walking warning to High School girls everywhere as to exactly why they should run away from their fatty diets and jump on the bulemia train ASAP. OK that is going a bit far, but seriously. I am quite sure that if given the opportunity not to be intimidated by my verbal prowess many a surgeon has looked at me and wondered if I could be a billboard for the latest new gastric bypass wonder and they could trot me out on Oprah and say, "See? You CAN be transformed! Why just last year this woman was roughly the size of a barn... she was out of control, her kids were eating crackers for snacks and now look...LOOK...she is my creation!" and I would smile and wave....then reality steps in, I open my rather loud and uninhibited mouth and their dreams are crushed. Wimps.

 

Any way, today was snack. I came home from work yesterday and Patrick and I made blueberry muffins. This morning he helped me spoon 1% yogurt into darling little puppy cups and I remembered his little sprinkles he likes to put on his yogurt and carefully packed his backpack. It is moderately healthy without being overly showy, he helped make it so there was a creative collaboration and it is one of his favorites. Done. Still, I just KNOW I have missed something. I must have... that seemed too easy. Then as I dropped him off, and the teacher was all ohhs and ahhs over the "healthy" snack, she looked in my car...you remember the time bomb of trash I just mentioned, and I could see it, just a hiunt of it..the oh dear God why didn't she just get the horizon milk boxes and Annie's crackers or whatever from Whole Foods? It is just down the hill for God sakes! Well...I did not because you cant walk in that store with being overwhelmed by the fact that you are, in fact, no temple to hearty goodness and your lifestyle is not the kind that enables you to eat granola, hike the Rainier trail and mix your own Earth Friendly shampoo, all while your children Sienna and Tyler, the perfect set of twins ever created, talk about how much fun it is wearing HEMP clothes...hello, have we met? You are lucky it was not McDonalds chicken nuggets and fries, lady!

 

Last week at the grocery store will give you an example of just how out of place in suburbia I truly am. Riley was still in her jammies (she likes that best, so why fight it) and Patrick was in a sweat suit he had worn to bed the night before because it had Lightning McQueen on it. If you do not know who that is, you must not have a son. It is the main character from the Cars movie. At any rate, the kids asked the baker for a cookie, she looked at them, then me, in my dishevelled sweats and badly underperformed ponytail and must have wondered how I made it past the Mary Kay patrol outside without being ladden with "how to" pamphlets on becoming the "perfect you". Anyway through his choclate chip cookie crumbles, she asked what he would be for halloween, "Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue!" he replied. Oh that is nice, said the baker, and what will your sister be? "Oh she and my mom are both bitches." The woman gasped, drew back and fully assessed what she must have presumed to begin with, we were indeed out of towners...no no no, I say, pronounce it correctly, slow your words honey, what will Mommy and Riley be again? "Oh Mommy, you are silly. You silly witch!" I am not sure but I think they had to scrape the poor gal off her immaculate bakery floor and remove the sugared flowerettes from her hair. I tried to say he meant witch with a W not a B the first time, but I am afraid the damage had been done. I will not be invited to the Christmas Light and cookie club of Sammamish...and I was so looking forward to it this year! HA!

 

I am off to get the boy and see how his snack played out. We will be doing some shopping on the way home, unless it looks like I can swing a nap out of either rug rat. So, if you see me in the store, try not to be intimidated, if you have even the slightest hint of a sense of humor, I might surprise you. At the very least, try to be kind, after all I am a bitch, remember? Oops, did I say that outloud??? I meant a witch....oh heavens, there goes next year's invite too! I may as well give up!

 

Been a few days. Nothing insane going on, but I was really busy. This working two jobs stuff with two little kids and being the stay at home Mom (except the one day I go out) is hard stuff! I needed to get the carpets clean and of course called my guys, Stanley Steamer. I will reiterate the special story so you will see why they are "my" guys. When Riley was being treated and we were working on the house, we were told NOT to go back to the house without having the carpets cleaned. We were wiped out financially actually at that point and not sure what we were going to do. ALl four of us in a one room hotel room I called a dry chem place thnking that they would be best, but the Dr called back and advised against it as the residue that the dry chemicals leave would hurt Riley's condition more. In tears, and out of time, I called STanley Steamer. They called back and told me we would need to clean the furniture, the mattresses, and the carpets. We were going the wrong way on the financial spectrum in my oppinion and exhausted I blurted, "How much will that cost me?" not a thing. Not one cent. They heard my story and came and did it for free because we were so over extended and had a sick child fresh out of Children's Hospital. WHo does that? They do. And you know what? I will never ever use a different carpet cleaner as a result. Not a bad business model, in some ways, as I am not only a customer for life (and my children will be as well if the company is still operating then) but I am a walking billboard. ANyway they were here this week, so clearing the floor of toys was quite a job! Jeez, my whole house is one walk-in toy chest! But they did great, so yay STanley Steamer!

 

On another front, we were going to the pumpkin patch today but we are rained out. I thought of the pool, but RIley had another ear infection. Not sure of the plan, but yesterday Harry and I had a date! It was fabulous! We went to Panera Bread and I had the steak peper something sandwich which was in a word devine. Then we went to see "The Departed" It was fabulous! Lots of big names, some small one, mostly non-Irish playing Irish, which always gets me, aren't there enough of us to actually play roles for our culture??? But I digress because Leonardo and Jack did fine. Jack may actually be one of us American Irish descendants, who knows? Martin Sheen was believable too, considering his real name is Estevez. The acting was great, some of the off color jokes were funny in spite of themselves and the fact that I felt you had to think throughout the movie, especially given you KNEW who all the bad guys were from the start (no figuring it out really) was phenomenal. Even the end left you wondering a few things, but pretty sure of all the why's and who's and how's. It is always nice to see a big movie like that and CARE about the characters in it, even if you dont like them much. Not a special effects kind of movie, but worth the big screen none the less. It is rare to find a movie worth the bank loan it costs to go to a show, but this was, even if the stereotype Irish thug was hard to escape, no matter cop or robber. Hard to dispute the stereotype in some ways, hence its prevelance, since i am Irish-American, I did gang work in LA, I have two brothers who are cops, and I have my degree in social work. Still, like all nationalities, to say we are all thugs or cops is a mistake. Get past that, and it is a good ride.

 

Patrick has a new thing he does now. When you give him a kiss he pretends to rub it in! Aw! He says he wants to carry it with him forever! Can you believe that? Lately he has been asking me if when he grows up if he can marry me. "No baby, I am married to Daddy" and he replied last week, "But Mommy, when I grow up, Daddy will be too old. I will marry you." I used to think those conversations were made up, but I guess sons do say these things and I dont care who you are, you melt. He has also been asking me if I will be his Mommy forever and ever. Yes baby, I always will. Then hs says, "Mommy, is it ever yet, or the other ever?" Where do they get this stuff?!?!?!?

 

RIley has another ear infection, but she is doing better. Last night though we had to call 9-1-1 because she was choking on a piece of popcorn Patrick had givenb her because he forgot I told him she could not have it. I watched her, she was chewing and looked like she was fin and then the coughing, it was that horrible terrifying silent cough the gag, help me, holy shit kind of cough./ I threw her over my knee and whacked her back a little and swept her mouth. DId that twice till she threw up the kernel. Whew. Still we had called 9-1-1 so they came and we were glad they did as she could have had some pieces still lodged in there blocking one lung and we would not know it not having a stethescope. Pretty scary. But the Firefighters were great with her and with Patrick. We will be making them some cookies so that we can say thank you.

 

OK, thats about it! On for another fun week! My Mom is filming a commercial tonight and she is over the moon! It is always fun when an actor gets a gig, no matter how small. She is just lit up!

A woman named Cheryl wrote me a kind note after my last entry and as I always do, I took a look at her site to see who she was and if I could return the favor. It is always nice to hear from someone when you write something, no matter how drool your entry was, or how exciting you hoped it had been, but somehow knowing that someone actually does read what you have written is a thrill. Well, for me it is anyway. I am always surprised that the rantings of an overwhelmed crazed mommy and her antics of diaper duty are at all amusing to anyone but the man who is required by law to listen to her (yes that is YOU Harry...look closer at the marriage license! HA! Yes yes yes I know I know it goes both ways, :O) At any rate, I was reading Cheyl's posts and came across a post that had a political rant that made my skin crawl.

I am paraphrasing and talking about something she wrote, which you can see at: http://photonut.spaces.live.com/

 

Did you know, that the current adminiistration is saying that they can imprison any one they want, citizen or not, for any reason made up or otherwise, imprison said individual for an unregulated time without trial or hearing or in my oppinion justification indefinately without regard to their rights as outlined in our Constitution? What the?!?!?!? When did we become the zealot assholes? When did we become the storm trooper bad guys? How did that happen? SOmewhere between protecting ourselves and helping others we became militant fundamentalists...no we are not fighting a Jihad but findamentalists, no matter they background, be it Muslim, Jew or Christian (as is our case) are fundamentally the same....hence the name fundamentalist I guess.

 

Harry and I were watching Battlestar Galactica and we both looked up and seemed to realize at the same time that somehow our current administration acts a lot like the Cylons do...Only instead of New Caprica our battlefield is Iraq. Shit! We are the battle loving metal grinding robots? WHat the?!?!?! I thought we were the land of the free...I like the bumper sticker too, "land of the free because of the brave" too bad our brave are out there fighting for an administration that is chipping away at the very rights the brave men and women are fighting to help install elsewhere and protect. AT what cost is there peace of mind? George Washington said, when Americans were being tortured and imprisoned without word, justification or reason by the Brittish during the Revolution, why Americans (or Colonials) did not do the same to the Brittish soldiers. His reply, and I am paraphrasing here was, "Because we are not they." It was, in his mind, unconscionable to do so. To resort to such brutality was NOT what the New World would stand for and fight to become. Too bad here we are 200 years later and that MAN I type gritting my teeth, is chucking our rights and for what? Listen, I am all for trying to be safe, I am a Mommy I know about trying to keep myself and my babies safe, so dont bother writing me with all the "That document was 200 years old" crap and how we need to be tough or whatever. There are ways to do things without resorting to cruelty. There are ways to interrogate people and still allow them their rights, like a fair trial, etc. There are ways. Because as any good parent knows, you cant ask of your children to do what you are unwilling to do yourself. You are the example. If we are to help others be free, democratic and rise above violence, then we must lead by example, no matter how hard the pull to lash out is. Just like allowing free speech sometimes means hearng the other person say things that anger you. The problem is we are all talking about it but no one is calling for the administration to STOP the torture of people, the false imprisonments or the corruption of our rights. Why is that? If you dont see a post from me, maybe I will have gone. Then the world will be lost a blogger, my kids a mother, the school a teacher and many people a friend, but I am no danger to anyone. Except under the "new rules" because I have voiced my rights I am fair game. What is that about? 1984 people, Big Brother is watching.

 

Scary times, party people, scary scary times.

 

 

Every first Saturday of every month there is a kids workshop at our local Home Depot. It is awesome, or so I hear. Today I had the girl, we had Gymnastics, and then went shopping while the boy and his daddy went to Home Depot for some stuff to do...you know, "guy things" around the place (set up the address sign, get a tarp on the play structure for winter, etc.) WHile they were there, they did the workshop. I called in and Patrick was about to jump out of his skin while he told me all about it on the phone, "Mommy, do you know what I did? I made a fire truck! I did it all by myself! There were even hero's there Mommy, REAL fire guys! It was so awesome!" Thats my boy. I grew up in the Valley and at the Beach in So. Cal, words like "awesome, Dude, whoa and tubular" are all part of my vocabulary and used regularly. It is like people up here use the Canadian phrase "eh? a lot too, or say "a-boat" instead of about, or pronounce out as Ooot. Anyway, the firetruck is awesome indeed. He even got a little apron from Home Depot with his name on it. He was just SO proud. We have definately decided that is Daddy's special boy time. I am thrilled for it. Hearing him on the phone and then seeing him beam as he showed me this perfect wooden firetruck was just inspiring. He was so empowered! Real nails, real glue, he did it man!

 

On another note, my poor Guardian Angel is bloodied, yet again. Man alive is he going to have words with me when we finally meet for putting him in harms way all the time! Rileyanne and I went all the way own to Renton to a Walmart. You see, there are no Walmarts where I live, and at the risk of over-sharing, which I must do all the time on this site, because that is just me....anyway, at the risk of over sharing, I needed undergarments. I am not sharing more, but the ones I like I get there because they no longer carry them at Target. Pity because EVERY time I go there something bad happens. Today was no exception, though entirely my fault.

 

I have a Prada bag. It is nothing really, but it is a great bag. HUGE, and it fits everything and it was a hand me down from my sister in law. I use it literally all the time! If Prada only knew they carried a diaper bag, they would plotz! HA! But that is seriously what I use it for. It is a great bag, carries all my stuff, 5 diapers and wipes, snacks galore, etc. Still, I thought better about carying a Prada bag into Walmart. I am thankful for it, but I am hardly Prada material, I would NEVER buy one, still it holds so much and I love it....but it just would not work in the Walmart arena, you know? SO, I threw the baby and my wallet alone in the cart and walked in after of course locking my car. I got inside and realized fairly early on that I would need to use the facilities. SO I grabbed the baby and walked to the bathroom...hum, what did I forget in the cart I wonder? Yes, my wallet. I got back, the cart was there but the wallet was not. I freaked. I mean loosing the keys at home is one thing, loosing my wallet at Walmart in a not so great area a completely different thing. I ask the lady at the picture counter, "no" she says very concerned, "I have not" I run to the Customer Service desk right next door to the photo booth, "Has anyone turned in a brown leather wallet???" "Nope." The lady just curtly responds. SHIT! OK, dont panic, I say to myself, Maybe we took it to the restroom with us? I knew I didn't but I thought I should check. Nope. No dice. I go back to the Customer Service counter and say, "Listen, maybe whomever has it plans to return it. Lets help them by voicing on the intercom that I am here waiting for it and would they please be so kind as to return it to me here." It seemed a fairly easy request, I mean if they can blurt out, "Spill on aisle 9" they could certainly help a lady out, right? The old bat behind the counter (you will see why I resort to name calling in a moment) just said, "What did you loose again, honey?" MY WALLET! Remember? We just spoke? I ran with a toddler into the bathroom and have run all over looking in carts for the dang thing like an idiot, I have spoken with you, remember? A brown wallet? And by the way, did you just "honey" me?!?!?! I was thinking a mile a minute. "Oh, you left it in that cart, right?" she points to the cart I had left it in and then she just leans over and pulls it out from the desk. "DId you have it the whole time?" I was out of breath, both excited she had it and a little infuriated that she would let me run around like an idiot like that with a baby. "Well, yeah. You left it in a cart. I thought you should be a little scared so you wouldn't do that again." ARGH! Listen, I may need a lot of things, but being schooled by you is humiliating, infuriating and just down right mean. "You know, it says Customer Service, but I dont think I needed a lecture." was all I said. Then, shaking I was so upset, I just walked away. If I had not driven 45 minuts to get there with a specific purpose of getting bed liners for the baby, bras for me and a halloween costume I would have left. I needless to say got what I came for and did leave with hopes that I will never ever have to go back again. Even if she was right, in type you can get the full sarcasm and meanness in her posture, tone and overall expression. I was livid. I was a little upset at myself, to be sure, what a stupid thing to do afterall, but come on, you would think I purposefully did it as opposed to having too much going on. It was a bloody mistake that is all! Urgh...horrible. I got schooled by a glorified lunch lady. Great.

 

On a high note got together with the gals tonight to make cards for a few baby showers coming up in our little play group! Two ladies already on # 3! Whoa! Harry and I are not trying for # 3 I think. SOmetimes I still say to myself I would like another baby, and other times I snap back into reality. Sure if we got pregnant we would be blessed and excited but seriously, we have enough going on. (as evidenced by my loosing keys and wallets and being schooled by the glorified cafeteria lady with the tact of a walrus tusk.) But good for these gals! They are so excited and we are excited for them. It was a fun night, lots of laughter and silliness and FOOD. Jeez we ate like we were starved! Cathia as always was a great host, the cards ended up lovely, and the story of the Customer Service lady both entertained and pissed everyone off at the same time. We have all decided the trip to Walmart is just not worth it. Time to find a new place! I hear Kohl's is moving in a little to the North. That will be nice! 

It is 10:48 am. My day so far has been a little packed, though it started out rather serene. First, Harry let me sleep in, then I was able to post a blog quick while the kids ate. Then Hell broke loose. Harry went to work and KAPLOW! The kids started WWF Pierson Style, yo. OK the rap thing aint my bag, obviously, but you get the drift. We started melting down. I stripped their little bodies and threw them in a yummy nice warm bath that I wish I could have sunk into for about two days! We used this new soap I am in love with.... it is the Huggies Seah (sp?) Butter stuff. It is DEVINE. I even use the lotion in a little massage afterwards and they smell so good, are so soft, you would never know I am a mommy on edge! They have clean clotehs, smell great, teeth brushed, we are out the door. Uh, no. Where the hell are my keys? CRUD. I cant find them anywhere. NO WHERE. I have to get to play group, then the afterschool job I work (where I take the kids with me at Sacred Heart) and tonight I am having my friend out to dinner with the kids so I HAVE To clean out the pit that I call "My Minivan Beast" so that we can all sit and not be killed from the noxious smell of old lunches or whatever. I mean if I let myself, that car really does become a moving pit. And it is now. So I have all these ducks, I have packed a dinner for the kids because they will likely crash upon exiting the school tonight and Harry is going out for a long needed night with the guys. But the glitch is I cant go anywhere. Maybe the baby hid the keys? I am running around asking her, "Where are mommy;s keys, honey?" for all I know she flushed them. Well, here goes, I am off to look again. But for all you who think this Mommy buisiness is easy, just take heed, some days you are the total in control, kids bathed, fed and looking great and other days you are a soap opera, lost keys, ragged edge, no breakfast eating mess. Today it is my day to be the later. Great. 

"Nana, "Says Patrick when he is with her for the day earlier this week while I am at work for the day, "Did you know that my Mommy takes me to preschool now?"

 

"Yes, darlin, I do, isn't it exciting?" Says Nana.

 

"Well, did you know she just drops me off and leaves me there?" Says Patrick, looking down and a little sad.

 

"Yes, but those are the rules, you get to go have fun and learn with all your friends and Mommy is always there to pick you up when school gets out, right? She would never ever forget you, you know." Says a VERY astute Nana because that is his # 1 fear.

 

"Well, sometimes she is sad about leaving me I think....I get sad too. I think I need to go back to going to school with my Mommy, Nana." Says Patrick who gets a huge hug from Nana. (and later Mommy by the way upon hearing the transaction....my sweet boy!)

 

School with Mommy was in our playroom, I had a little school set up, we talked about the days of the week, the weather, what day it was, we read books and practiced the alphabet, we played special educational games and we giggled a lot. It was a special time. Every morning after breakfast before we got dressed. However, it was not enough, he is doing VERY well in preschool, and every day I get him he is beaming about this that or the other, but still, my boy misses me. Oh and yes, it happened on the one day of the week I am not home. I only work one day, pretty much to cover preschool and other things, as well as keep my sanity because I was starting to have SERIOUS self esteem issues where all I was good for was making Mac 'n cheese...but hearing this conversation helped me realize I was doing so much more. It is funny how you have to step back to see it, when you are in it you are just too close.

 

We also play a game. Near our house there is a hill and Patrick likes to pretend we are in the Little Einstein's rocket. We pat pat pat in our seats and when we get to the hill, we raise our hands ("High in the air") and say, "BLAST OFF!" and I gun it a little, providing no one is near, and we zoom up the hill and everyone giggles and pretends we are in outter space and the houses are really other planets. Yesterday when we did this, Patrick shouts "Blast Off!" and Rileyanne shouts, "Doobie Doo!" It was SO cute! I guess in Riley-eese, Dooby Doo means Blast Off! Hilarious!

The country is divided, or so we are told. LOUDLY, constantly and daily. Either I was asleep or non-observant as a child, but while my Mom was definately a Liberal and my Father most certainly a Conservative, I just remember a time when it was sorta like a High School Football game, it was cool to be whatever you were, and in the end we would go to Homecoming with a new king and queen from either camp and we would all be friends again. Pretty rose colored, to be sure, but that is how I remember it. I do remember it being a HUGE bleeping deal to my father when, in my first election as a voter, I did not go with the Republican, who won by the way, Bush Senior. I remember dreading his win, feeling a loss, and now, looking back how I wish he was the one of that Family still in office. It is funny how things go.

 

Anyway, I guess if forced to define myself, I would say I am a social Liberal and a fiscal Conservative. To some, I guess that would be a hopeless flip-flopper (thanks Dad) but to me I vote with a conscience...you know, Republican or Democrat though I definately lean Democrat and am registered as such. I have found several Republicans I like though, so to say I do not ever go with the other team would be false. I just look at both sides, see what they bring to the table, I am not a blind voter, just going with one party regardless, but while I lean Democrat on most issues, I am also a person who sees that sometimes the other team can get stuff done. Does that make sense?

 

Anyway, I hear it all the time, "The country is divided! It has never been so bad before!" I am always rolling my eyes at that, what does that even mean? Divided on what? And then it hits me, some people actually believe that the current administration are up front, honest and above board. It makes my skin crawl, and I like to think of myself as a "love thy neighbor" kind of Catholic, I just cant get around super fundamentalist conservatives. I dont get them and it is VERY clear they do not get me. So I guess we are really divided. Sad we cant learn more from each other.

 

The other day I met a woman who I liked right away. She was a little large, like me, and that was a plus actually because in the Mommy-land of skinny, blond bombshells that drive perfectly clean cars and have their nails done and look like June Cleaver, it is refreshing to see another barely holding it together, just drove through the drive through and the car still has wrappers in it sweats wearing "lets go finger paint in the park and who cares if you get dirty in your Target jeans" wearing Mom. None of the Nordstroms, "Hi I just spent $75 on shoes for my toddler to go romp in the park but he cannot get them dirty" type Moms seem to like me much...go figure... You know who you are, guys. I love you, but I always wonder how you keep it together?!?!?!? Where are some of those "keep everything perfect" vitamins, I could use a few because I am always on the jagged edge. That is where my creativity lies I like to say! :)

 

Anyway, about my new friend. We had SO much in common. Kids the same ages, we were one of 7 Catholic children, parents who re-married, both from County Cork, Ireland, seriously we looked related. It was wierd. We were both educators, both grew up in the Valley in So. Cal (though opposite sides, me in North Hollywood, she in Semi Valley). I was really excited about making my new friend. Then it hit us, we were very very different actually. I mentioned that Bill Gates attended the Catholic Church I teach at and she replied, "But he is so Liberal? How is he Catholic?" HUH?!?!?!? My head about spun off. I had never, ever even considered that before. Never. I suppose it is perfectly honest and straightforward, but why couldn't a person be both Catholic and Liberal? It had never occured to me because I AM both Catholic and Liberal. I believe that Jesus, you remember that guy, the one who befriended everyone (Mary Magdaline people, remember her?) and told everyone to enjoy and live in tolerance, peace and enlightened truth that love and peace was the right way to go...He was so nice they nailed His peace loving, forgiving butt to a cross, remember that guy? Anyway I figured if He was anything at all, He was liberal. And if He was a liberal, shouldn't we all see a little of that tolerance in ourselves....you know being His followers and all? Well, there it was, a line in the sand. "I believe that things are no where near as conservative as they ought be, "says my new friend, "We are all about freedoms and hansy pansy political correctness. I am just saying that there are too many freedoms and such now and we ought to go back to being lead not trying to all lead." Now I am paraphrasing, but that is what I heard. I was shocked, dismayed, and sad. "Oh well, "says she, "I guess we should avoid politics alltogether."

 

That seems a perfectly reasonable answer, and while I appreciate her right to her oppinion, I dont understand it. I am a teacher at heart, I like to understand things. I want to know how someone my age, who had pretty close to the same upbringing could be so different. Too many freedoms? Huh? Seems to me that lately all we have the freedom to do is accept the lies the people in charge tell us. Her seemingly perfectly reasonable option does not work because I have to ask, I feel compelled to understand her. I have several Republican friends, and they have never said that to me. We debate, discuss, and often bring new lights to each other. I like that. I find that stimulating, sometimes sad, always invigorating (I get pretty mad and upset sometimes sure, as do they) but in the end we not only respect each other for our differences we are better for learning more about the other. But never before has anyone ever thrown up their hands and said, "Oh well, lets just never talk about that" when it is all around us, impossible to ignore, in your face and real. I dont get that.

 

I was crushed that my new buddy, my new friend, who was obviously much more dofferent than I thought, would be so closed as to not allow me the right to voice my oppinion or my feelings, or just as important to me, to hear hers. And then it hit me....we are a country divided. We are a people who do not get each other. Findamentally, at times we are like a marriage in which the husband and wife have grown so far apart that they cannot speak without an argument and both feel at odds and defensive. We dont understand each other and worse we dont want to. Urgh.

 

So, in the good will of public forum, I welcome anyone to tell me why they believe what they believe. I want to know how, why, where your brain, feelings, and faiths come in. It fascinates me. I want to be able to talk about me, mine, and ours. I want to discuss so that people, whatever they believe, can learn from each other, perhaps see different sides to something or realize something they never would have before. Because it is in that, that special place of tolerance, you be you at no cost to me, I be me at no cost to you and we learn and grow with each other, THAT is where Free Speech lives. Oh, shoot, I just voiced a freedom, huh? Well, there goes my citizenship in Bush country again, huh?

 

Seriously??? Seriously.

 

On a slightly different note, the word Seriously is the new Dude. It used to be, especially growing up in So. Cal, one could have an entire conversation using only the word "Dude." Now you can have a whole ceonversation using only the word "Seriously" it is fun, I like it. And there it is, the fickle me has just moved on from soap box of discouragement to new topic, Seriously is the new Dude...get with the program....Seriously? Seriously! Seriously.

Yesterday we put up a bunch of Ghosts the kids and I have made in our yard hanging from the trees. It is a spooky fun thing. We even found the big Pumpkin Man I made last year and have him up too! It looks like a halloween town outside! Yay! I love Halloween. I ALWAYS dress....ALWAYS. I dont know if being the offspring of actors has that trait in me or what but Halloween is my favorite. Come on... whats not to like? Chocolate, candy, chocolate, costumes, pretend, spooky fun, did I mention chocolate? It is a girls heaven. SHe can dress however she wants and it is ok and she can eat chocolate unabashed....not so good if you are an oversize butterball like me, but still a great day!

 

Now with kids it is even better. Watching them get so excited as we go from store to store and see the decorations, "Oh Momma, that is SPOOKY!" and "WOW! Momma, look at THIS!" it is fun. I LOVE that they are not afraid of anything. That would suck. As it is, it is fun and slightly off. Kinda kooky! Patrick will be Buzz Lightyear To The Rescue (that is exactly how he says it) this year and Harry agreed to be his Evil Emperor Zurg. Now came my move, finding costumes. Urgh, First of all, Zurg is no where, I mean NO WHERE to be found. Here Patrick has his heart set, Harry agreed (he never dresses either...the last few years he has worn an orange tee shirt that says, "This is my costume!" bah humbug) so I am running all over trying to piece a costume together. I have gone to at least 10 stores looking for stuff that is Zurg like and even drove to Everett trying to find a Disney store to see if they had one. No dice. Nothing on line either.

 

SO, me being the resourceful WItch I am (that is what Rileyanene, myself and my Mom will be this year...ahem that is with a W not a B, ok?!?!?!?) I have pieced together the following for my handsome over 6 ft tall Zurg: A viking hat for the horns, a vampire cape with red satin inside for the cape, and a grim reeper dress with a hood for Zurg's body. The hood will go over the Viking hat and I will cut two holes for the horns to stick through. I am either making a mask or painting his face, but that is the trickiest part. He will use his Hockey Gloves as Zurg's gloves and I am thinking we will use his hockey pads as part of the top of the costume...not sure. He is pretty intimidating without them actually and no sense in terrifying the 3 year olds this year for heaven sake!

 

SO how about me? I will get pictures too. I am VERY excited, but this month is PACKED! I start work this Wednesday at Sacred Heart School one day a week. I still do the afterschool program with the kids Monday's and Friday's. Tuesdays and Thursdays are pre school. Plus we have pumpkin carving night, snacks this month, school pictures this month, and Patrick is hosting the annual play group Halloween party too! Plus trick or treating at Daddy's office and at Auntie Cathia's! Whew! I am also throwing a Spa party for the ladies I know too later in the month! I am swamped! Harry is too, getting used to his new role, new spaces and new people. It is fun to hear him talk with such animation about what is up in his world...even though the new X Box is the bane of my world at times. Grown men saying things like, "Just let me get to the next level!" while the kids kill each other while I make dinner...it feels like I am 16 and babysitting and brough my boyfriend to "help" me while he played on his nintendo (this would be the 80's) and the kids go nuts. That does not happen often, but it does happen and the flashback always accompanies it. Still Harry likes the new job and the new Xbox on all accounts.

 

Speaking of which, Harry changed offices to a new building that used to be a Boeing Building off old Black Nugget Road. They are calling the new office, "Issaquah Black" is it me or does that sound like a really good microbrew beer?

 

OK that is all my news, now I have nothing left and must go out and create more fodder for this blog....a gals job is never done!